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Ten Things To Find Love Now

Find Love

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Archives for Confidence And Self-Esteem

Tuesday October 6, 2015 by Debbie

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely How To NOT Believe Everything You Think   Your thoughts are just that… thoughts. They are NOT facts! You get to choose the thoughts you focus on. So next time a negative thought pops up, let it go. Replace it with a positive affirmation. All day, your mind is throwing you thoughts, […]

Monday March 23, 2015 by Debbie

New Beginnings Are Best When Seeking Love

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself Remember today, for it is the beginning.  Today marks the start of a brave new future. Our previous article, 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself, was well received by most of our readers, but several of you suggested that we follow it up with a list of […]

Wednesday October 2, 2013 by Debbie

Developing Your Ego Is Necessary

Your Ego Is Not the Enemy ~ Blake D. Bauer   Excerpt from the book: You Were Not Born To Suffer Our ego is not our enemy. Contrary to what most of us believe, we all create the cocoon of our ego as an act of unconditional self-love to protect us until we’re ready to fully embody our […]

Tuesday September 24, 2013 by Debbie

3 Ways To Have More Confidence And Self-Love

THE ART OF SELF-LOVE The perfect time to work on loving yourself is now. BY ASHLEY DAVIS BUSH Susan sat in front of me staring out the window.  She smoothed some stray gray hairs around her right ear, sighed, and said, “I’m 63 years old for heaven’s sake; it’s time that I learn to love […]

Wednesday April 4, 2012 by Debbie

Free To Be You

Celebrity Love Coach Debbie Rivera

“You were born to be free. Free of fear, free of stress, free of the past — free to be strong, wise, and perfectly unique When you realize no one else on this earth can be like you… that no other soul may know the beauty, sorrow, light and darkness you alone are given to […]

Sunday May 29, 2011 by Debbie

All You Need Is Love

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Can 20 Minutes Change Your Life?

Ready to move forward to find your soul mate? Let's start with a 20 minute conversation to get you started in the right direction.

Love Waits For You

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms. ~ David Deida   I'll teach you how to find the guy that will stand tall for you!

Master Your Love Life

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Knowing When Love Is Right For You

Don’t Date The Wrong Guy

Sometimes it can be hard to tell whether or not a new relationship is going to work out. It doesn’t help that you fall for people that end up being fundamentally wrong for you. So how do you tell whether the guy you’re with is someone who is right for you? To help ease the potential confusion, we have come up with three red flags that do a pretty good job at indicating you may be dating the wrong guy.

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You have different life goals

One of the biggest and most important indicators that your dating the wrong guy is that you see future life goals differently – they just don’t match up. It’s not about the personal short term goals, like the fact that he’s saving for a new car and you’ve decided to change jobs. It’s the long range big, life – changing -type goals. For example, if you know you want kids and he doesn’t – you have a huge difference in what you want. Or, if he plans on eventually moving back to his (tiny, middle-of-nowhere) home town and you can’t stand the thought of living anywhere but the city, then this will create a huge gap between the two of you somewhere down the road. You have to get really clear on what you need from a relationship and find out what you are willing to compromise on. The key is  to know if  the one you’re dating is not budging on areas where you are not able to compromise. They are your deal breakers.

You never really talk

Women really feel a deep connection when they are listened to  and understood. It is an extremely validating experience. There is also another piece to that in that the guy you are dating must be able to open up and share his thoughts while you listen. That is what sustains a relationship over time. Contrary to widespread belief, sex is only one part of a healthy relationship.  Look for ways to open up deep, meaningful conversations and engage in enriching discussions where you share perspectives. This goes a long way in a relationship and actually deepens the physical intimacy between the two of you. Conversation – the real kind where you discuss feelings and hopes and dreams – is a key ingredient to building a lasting bond with someone. If you don’t have those open honest heart-felt sharing conversations – ever – you’re not in the right relationship. As much as it’s a physical connection, a good relationship should also allow you to connect on a deeper emotional level. The key here is to see if the guy you are dating is able to connect on an emotional level. If not, in the long run this is a hige deal breaker.

He doesn’t like your family and friends and vice versa

If none of your family and  friends like him, or he doesn’t get along with any of the people you hold dear, you could be wasting your time. The same goes for his family and friends. You don’t need to like or get along with all of them, but if trying to ignore thsi issue will never make it go away. Now of course we are all drawn to certain people and have become used to the way are own familes likes and dislikes. Just make sure that you know what you are getting yourself into. One of the best parts of being in a relationship that makes you happy is combining your closest circle with his. That doesn’t mean you no longer have separate friends or do things without one another, but having dinner parties with both of your favorite people makes things so much easier. Having to entirely separate your life as a couple from your family and friend puts a strain on the relationship. The key is to know yourself well enough to see where this could cause problems in the relationship. Know if it is a deal breaker for you.

Making the decision that someone is wroing is never eay. Try to take some time to really understand what you need from a relationship. Is it being a priority, fun, commitment, physical affection, etc – no matter what you have to find someone that is able to meet those needs and vice versa for them That is the key to being happy in a relationship!

Sweet Things To Say To Your Boyfriend

Appreciate The Things Your Boyfriend Does

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Sometimes just saying something nice can pull him out of a funk. If you have had a fight, it’s worth coming up with something nice to say. It is amazing how much your boyfriend will turn towards you instead of pull away by remembering to praise the things he does right. This article will explore some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend.

It’s just too easy to get caught up in the day to day aspects of life. Sometimes making a conscious effort to break the pattern and surprise him with something sweet can reignite the passion in your relationship. Appreciate the little things by telling him what he does right in the relationship – like sending a text to you, bringing you your favorite treat, etc.

But, remember that timing is important when you have sweet things to say to your boyfriend. For instance, saying them in front of his friends is likely to embarrass him or make him mad. Don’t try to wiggle out of a fight by saying sweet things either. This is the time to try to resolve issues not to cover them up with pleasantries. Besides guys don’t like drama and chaos so he won’t be in a place to hear the sweet things. You have to wait a while and give him time to cool off.

Think about the context of the words. For instance, saying sweet things when he is on the way out the door to a basketball game with his buddies may come across as a way to keep him home. But saying sweet things to say to your boyfriend during a romantic dinner may come across as loving. Pay attention to what is happening to him in the moment. Men tend to focus on one thing at a time. So take note of where he’s at and where his focus is at the time.

When coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend, keep in mind what will please him. This will vary from man to man. Therefore, I cannot make a list of 100 things that are pleasing. Instead, I can guide you in the kind of thought processes to go through.

For instance, you should consider his actions. If there are things he does that please you, complement him on them. Not only is this sweet, but it reinforces behaviors that you appreciate too.

You can also compliment him on his appearance. The perception is that gals need more complements on their looks, but guys appreciate this too!

Some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend involve his skills. Is he a great cook or handy around the house? Let him know. Does he have great social skills? Do you admire his relationship with his family? These are all the basis for sweet comments.

If his personality is something that drew you to him, let him know. He may be insecure about being a “nice guy” so your reassurances that his personality is great will help him a lot.

Of course, there are plenty of great things to say about his sexuality. Even if you haven’t gone to bed with him, you can always compliment him on his kissing. But, if you have gone all the way, think about making him feel like a real stud.

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Come up with the right words and the right time and you’ll be his for life.

Are You A Girl That Believes In The Rules?

40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’s The Rules

 Are The Rules Right For You?

By MADDISON JENSEN 

This book — The Rules — was what the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You was based on. The term “You are not the exception” is referring to The Rules. Historical evidence and references are explained in depth in the pages of this dating bible. It’s an interesting read, even if you don’t agree completely.

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The Rules 40 Dating Tips:

1. Take care of yourself! Be feminine. Smell Good.

2. Make him approach you.

3. Be a Responder, not a Hunter. Hunters are men. You are not a man.

4. Never be offended. You love your flaws. You love yourself. Nothing you do is stupid. Smile and laugh.

5. Hunters don’t hunt animals that chase them or wait for them. They hunt unique animals that are hard to find, even if they have to travel to catch them.

6. Don’t call back immediately. You are a girl in demand.

7. Don’t call first. You might catch him when he’s busy and then you’ll feel bad and dumb.

8. End call first after 15 minutes ALWAYS. (Even though it sucks. He will call you more.)

9. End the date first.

10. Don’t reveal too much. Once books are open, they end up closed.

11. Be supportive and sympathetic

12. Don’t date people who are already dating people.

13. Be awesome. You’ve never been sad. You never want to be sad. Sad people are Sad. Happy people are contagious.

14. If his gifts aren’t romantic, his feelings aren’t romantic. You are not a tool set. You are a teddy bear and chocolates and everything sweet that he is feeling.

15. Refrain from seeing more than 2-3 times a week

16. Only casual kissing on the first date

17. Be busy until the moment he picks you up, that way you won’t over think things. Just be busy all the time. Busy people are important. You want to be important.

18. Even if you are not busy, pretend like you are. (This is not lying.)

19. Only tell your therapist or your dog everything about them. Don’t talk about them all the time. Words get around. You don’t want to sound crazy.

20. Seriously don’t have sex. When it comes to intimacy, stand your ground. They will respect you.

21. If bad things happen, stay emotionally cool. Don’t talk about the future. EVER. The future ball is in his court to bring up.

22. Don’t be bossy. Let him be a man. Bossy can come off as jealous or insecure.

23. Guys have balls. You don’t. Don’t let the ball be in your court. The ball should always be in his court. He knows what to do with his balls. Give him his balls.

24. Literally act like his life is totally fine and you don’t care to change it even if he’s wearing cargo shorts.

25. Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring.

26. Feelings are heavy and nobody wants those so shut up and suck it up.

27. You are the happiest, calmest person alive. Nothing can get in your way. Your life is so great that he wants to put himself in it, and he will.

28. Sometimes it is better to be lonely than rejected. Even then, you have netflix.

29. You are unlike anyone else. You don’t waste time. You don’t take shit from people. Shit is gross.

30. Past relationships are in your rearview mirror. Your future is through your windshield. Your windshield is bigger for a reason.

31. The person who talks the most has the most to lose.

32. Sympathy is stupid so stop trying to get it.

33. There is a reason why liars are lonely. Don’t be one in a relationship.

34. Busy is just “Busy”– don’t explain. Be happy and aloof when explaining that you are busy for the night.

35. Don’t leave things at his apartment. Make him make up excuses to see you. If he doesn’t… He doesn’t want to see you. If he doesn’t want to see you… you were too busy to notice or care (even if you do care).

36. His friends are the last people for you to seek advice from. Do not devalue your intuition and confidence by asking questions that make you look insecure NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.

37. Relationship ratio should always be him 70% and you 30-50%.

38. Eventually you will have to tell him everything about you, but don’t dump it on him like you’re nailing down his coffin. Let him understand that the weight of your past is something you carry lightly.

39. Keep yourself busy and happy. This isn’t just a tip to make people love you, this is a tip to keep you moving forward in life.

40. Stay fit, stay beautiful, and show him and yourself that you care about being healthy.

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