Discover Dating Success | Dating After Dating | Find Love

Create True And Lasting Love In Your Life

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?

Call to find out. Ready to move forward to find your soul mate? Let's start with a 20 minute conversation which will get you started in the right direction.

Ten Things To Find Love Now

Find Love

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

  • Home
  • Dating + Relationship Advice
  • Meet Debbie
    • Contact
    • Work With Me
      • Private Coaching
      • Attract Your Soul Mate Now
  • Programs + Products
    • Programs
      • Dating Live Find Your Soulmate Now Series
      • Dating Coach Email Program
    • Products
  • Events
    • Event Listing
      • Discover What’s Really Missing In Your Love Life
      • One Day Find Your Soulmate Event
      • Find Your Soulmate Wokshop
  • Resouces
    • Ten Things To Find Love Now
    • How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps
    • Relationship Radio Shows
    • You’re Single For A Reason
    • Love Thoughts And Quotes
      • Self Esteem Quotes
You are here: Home / Resouces / How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps

How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps

These principles will definitely help you avoid The 14 Dating Traps:

1. Marketing Trap

Trying to attract a partner by making yourself more appealing, believing you have to sell yourself because nobody would want you as you really are.

2. Packaging Trap

The opposite of the Marketing Trap. Instead of seeking to sell yourself with attractive packaging, you focus on the packaging of others, such as age, body type, weight, income, etc.

3. Scarcity Trap

Believing there is a limited supply of possible partners so you have to take what you can get or be alone.

4. Compatibility Trap

Believing that if you’re having fun with someone and getting along well, then you’re compatible and a committed relationship will work.

5. Fairytale Trap

This is passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear so that you can live happily ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just “happen.”

6. Date-to-Mate Trap

Becoming an instant couple with everybody you date, as if you’re giving the relationship a test drive. Assuming that by becoming a couple and trying out the relationship that a successful committed relationship will happen.

7. Attraction Trap

Making your choices based solely on feelings of attraction. You interpret a strong attraction to someone as a sign that this relationship is a good choice and is meant to be.

8. Love Trap

Interpreting infatuation, attraction, need, good sex, or emotional attachment as love.

9. Sex Trap

Prioritizing physical intimacy and regarding everything else as optional. Your main criterion for a relationship is sexual attraction and physical compatibility. You become a couple as soon as you have sex.

10. Rescue Trap

Hoping that a relationship will solve your emotional and financial problems and bring you happiness and fulfillment; like winning the lottery.

11. Co-dependent Trap

You expect someone will love you and give you what you want by giving the other person what they want. You try to earn love and happiness by acquiescing, nurturing, giving, and helping. Needing to be needed often results in unconsciously attracting and choosing a relationship with a person who needs you but is unable to give you what you want. You really want to be in a relationship. You feel unworthy as you are, and that you need to earn love. You pursue relationships because you feel incomplete when you’re not in one.

12. Entitlement Trap

Believing you deserve to be happy and to get what you want in your life without effort or changes on your part, because you’re entitled. Your attitude toward your partner is “What can you do for me?” “Make me feel good.” “Make me happy.”

13. Virtual Reality Trap

Believe that “what you see is what you get” and seeing what you want to see instead of using actual experience and knowledge to make long-term relationship choices.

14. Lone Ranger Trap

You are focused on your goal of finding your life partner and believe that the other relationships in your life are less important and that you don’t need anyone’s help. You evaluate the people you meet for their relationship potential and don’t take the opportunity to cultivate new friends. Then, you feel isolated and believe that there’s a scarcity of potential partner


© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Life?

Ready to move forward to find your soul mate? Let's start with a 20 minute conversation to get you started in the right direction.

Love Waits For You

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms. ~ David Deida   I'll teach you how to find the guy that will stand tall for you!

Master Your Love Life

Join our Master Your Love Life Dating Program and find the real answers to finding love.

Dating Tips And Relationship Advice

  • Attract A Man
  • Breakup Help
  • Confidence And Self-Esteem
  • Dating After A Divorce
  • Dating Tips
  • Dating To Next Step
  • Featured Article
  • Featured Content
  • Flirting
  • For Men – How to Keep Her Happy
  • Get Your Ex Back
  • Guest Posts
  • Heartbreak To Happiness: One Client's Journey
  • How Do I Find My Soul Mate
  • How To Get Him To Commit
  • Love And Relationship Advice
  • Online Dating
  • Ready For A Relationship
  • Relationship Problems
  • Soul Mates
  • What Men Want From Women

Love Coach Inner Circle

Please tell me more about private Love Coaching and inner-circle love-coaching programs with Debbie. Find out how to join in the search and find your soul mate now!
alt="passionate love"

Advice On Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Romantic history is marked by love letters. In fact, St. Valentine’s day came about when a priest (St. Valentine) fell in love with a Nun. They were separated and eventually executed, but not until Valentine wrote a love letter to his beloved. If you are feeling romantic, write a love letter. Here’s some advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

First of all, get in the right mood. Put on some romantic music. This can be a Beethoven symphony, the sappy songs of Chicago, or the music you and he fell in love with.

Next, find a spot where you can be uninterrupted. You don’t want the everyday annoyances of life intruding when you are about to write love letters to your boyfriend.

Get a pen or pencil and paper before love letters to write to a boyfriend. That’s because you will find yourself being more creative when you hand write the letter instead of being trapped behind the computer.

Think about the things you want to say to him. Pour out your heart. Because this is a letter and not direct communication, you can be more emotional than normal.

Get a book of love poems or romantic quotes to give you inspiration. You can even incorporate these into your love letters to write to a boyfriend.

Don’t think your first draft will be the final one. If you are taking the trouble to write a love letter, spend some time and edit it. Because it is more permanent than casual conversation, you want to get the wording and the emotions right.

Once you have the love letter to write to a boyfriend composed, copy it on to nice paper. Use a good quality pen. Consider using red ink or writing the letter with a calligrapher’s pen. The paper should be heavy. Think about using a colored paper such as tan or pink (depending on the ink color). You can also use scrap booker’s tools to sculpt the edges of the paper to make it even more memorable.

Think about how you are going to present the love letter as well. If you are going to put it in an envelope, consider using a wax seal to close it. That smacks of romance.

You might want to slip the love letter into his lunch box, place it on the bed, or tape it to his shaving mirror. All of these things ensure that he notices your tome.

Don’t get too upset if he doesn’t seem to appreciate all of the hard work that you’ve put into it. He really does know that you are expressing your love for him through the letter – he may just not know how to respond. He may feel that if he can’t write a love letter in return that he shouldn’t place too much emphasis on your work.

That’s my advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

alt=""

The Fundamentals Of Dating

Discover The Fundamentals of Dating

alt=""When you enter into the dating world, there are some very important factors that you need to consider and keep in mind. The most basic factor is a person’s attitude. An attitude can affect all of the dynamics of a relationship and dating experience. Attitude involves how a person looks at dating and what dating truly means to them.

Most people do not know where they should go to meet someone. They sit in their house wishing that they could meet the right person and find someone to spend their life with. However, they do not do anything to try to meet someone. They just continue to sit in their house. This decreases their chances of finding anyone that they can spend time with and enjoy having in their life.

Know why you want to date. For most people, it is a desire to no longer be alone. This is the reason that propels them to enter into the dating world again. As they are entering the dating scene, they appear desperate and needy. This is very unappealing and will lead to a pattern of attracting all the wrong kinds of people.

In order to prevent this, you have to change your thinking and picture having someone that can share your life instead of someone that will just fill the emptiness that you feel. It is nice to have someone in your life that you can spend time with and do things with, but you have to be able to enjoy your own life and be able to survive on your own before you can enjoy life with someone else.

Find the good in other people. Look for the positives. Do not focus on the bad parts, but be aware of them. These can warn you of potential warnings or dangers that you have to be aware of. Your positive attitude, however, will give you a much more open, positive mind to see people for who they really are. It will also make you more appealing to other people as they realize that you have a positive attitude and outlook.

Eliminate all of the negative words and behaviors from your mind. These words can essentially create a negative attitude and this reflects badly to other people and can give them the wrong idea about you. There is no one that desires to be with a negative person. If you remove the negative words, you increase the possibility of finding someone that you can spend your time with in a positive relationship.

Self confidence is a very desirable trait. People that are self confidence do not give off a needy or negative appearance. They are capable of surviving on their own and this makes them desirable to other people. They become a person that other people want to be with and spend time with.

Be a responsible person. Responsibility is a very attractive quality to many people. If you say you are going to do something, make sure that you do it. You do not want to have someone in your life that cannot accept responsibility, so it is important to be responsible yourself.

Attitude is the most important factor in attracting a potential mate. Attitude is essential to determining whether you will spend the rest of your life alone or if you will have a mate to live out the rest of your life with. Live your life as the kind of person that you want to attract and what you are looking for in a potential mate. If you have bad habits, you need to work to change those and adjust your behavior to be more positive.

Other people in the world are looking for the same qualities that you are. Being the best person that you can be will help you to attract the best possible mate.

Ready For Love?

Are You Ready For Love?

alt="Are You Ready For Love?"

Getting to the heart of what holds you back.

If someone were to ask you what you really wanted from a relationship – what would the answer be?

It’s that time of year when not only are we busier at work than ever, but our personal lives are about to get busier as well! So many really wonderful women I know are juggling multiple commitments, and let’s face it, part of being successful and happy is being well-rounded. It’s only natural that we want to make the most of all the opportunities around us!

But one often overlooked aspect of “making the most” of our opportunities is cultivating a sense of joy, presence and awareness about ourselves. Your awareness is important because it keeps you from being caught up in a whirlwind of activity just for the sake of being busy or collecting accolades.

Sometimes you focus on or play up one particular part of your identity, while completely disregarding other parts of yourselves. You have many facets and dimensions. Time to look at all of them and express some of the ignored diemsions by enjoying them.

I want to encourage you to take a little time – and get clarity about who you are, and who and what you need in your life. This is the perfect time to examine this! No time like the present.

 

 

More Posts from this Category

Featured Articles

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . . He never really was into you He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.) He found someone he’s more into It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she […]

alt="Men Love Confidence"

How can I Get my Ex Back with a Confident Attitude   Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager […]

alt="First Dates Gone Wrong"

  How First Dates Go Seriously Wrong

Online Dating Profile Redo

Do you need to redo your online dating profile? Your online profile is more important than you know. Let's get you to stand out from the masses and attract the quality guys or classy women. Ask me how . . .

Pretty Chic Theme By: Pretty Darn Cute Design