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Ten Things To Find Love Now

Find Love

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

How To NOT Believe Everything You Think

 

Your thoughts are just that… thoughts. They are NOT facts! You get to choose the thoughts you focus on. So next time a negative thought pops up, let it go. Replace it with a positive affirmation.

All day, your mind is throwing you thoughts, waiting to see which ones you take the bait with.

And boy, do you ever take that bait! (I must confess – I do it too!)

The thing is you keep on repeating those thoughts, telling yourself the same lines and stories over and over again even expanding that thought to become bigger and bigger.  Pretty soon, you forget it was just a passing thought and believe it to be factual and truthful. You get to the point where you can even find the convincing eveidence to proof that random thought is correct.

Some of those thoughts just get you stuck.  It’s like being unable to move in any direction. The thoughts have taken over and you believe them to the point that you can’t get moving.  More than that, the thoughts give you reasons and excuses to not get moving.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Here are the 3 Biggest Thoughts You Want To Block Out of Your Mind . . .

These are three of those repetitive thoughts that keep you stuck, and actually allow you to stay stuck.

Here they are:

  1. “I’m not good enough.”
  2. “It’s not my fault.”
  3. “Life’s not fair.”

Sound familiar?

They certainly sound familiar to me!  I have said all of them to myself.  I have even gone looking for proof.  Only to find that they just keep me stuck.  They don’t help or serve me.  They just keep me from taking action. No movement at all one way or the other.

How about you?

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

You know your brain is like plastic, it can be molded into new thoughts and actually make new passage ways inside your brain. The best thing to do to change the thoughts that don’t serve you well at all is to turn that thought around and change the impact. Try replacing that thought with a positive affirmation: I am more than enough. Life is a great teacher.

For example:

If Thoughts Become Things Then Why Didn’t I Marry Brad Pitt? Just a thought?

So what did they mean when they said ‘Thoughts become things’?

Look at this way. When you want to go to the gym for a little exercise think about the process that happens for you to actually get to the gym.

Conversation in your head
Unconscious: ‘okay slacker, it’s time you did a little exercise’

Conscious: ‘mmm maybe, in fact no I think I’ll watch an episode of ‘Lost’.

Unconscious: ‘Look at your tummy, if you’re not careful you’re going to start ! come on get up!’

Your unconscious starts to throw you images of the gym so it’s stuck in your mind. It also throws you images of the benefits of going to the gym; feeling fitter, looking more attractive, losing a little weight, getting into your “skinny jeans”.

Conscious: ‘Yeah you might be right, I think it’s time to go.’ You get your exercise clothes on, grab your water, your bag and your car keys.

So what’s happened here is a conversation between your unconscious and your conscious giving you reasons why you should be going to the gym, all the time you are picturing the benefits and the more you hear the benefits and see them in your minds eye the more prone you are to taking action.

Blocking out
What a lot of people do when they would like to take action on something is they block out the thoughts that show the benefits of your proposed actions. Why they do this is to either avoid pain or desire more pleasure. So, in the scenario above the pleasure part would have been to lye on the couch and watch Lost , the painful part would have been going to the gym. Of course there are ways to change your thinking to reverse the pleasure and pain, but that’s for another post.

So when we want to avoid doing something that will ultimately have long term gains we block out the thoughts which lead us to take action. When we really want something we think about it more often and our unconscious mind works on ways to gain that desire and we work toward it slowly but surely. Sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes it’s very slow, but no matter what, if you desire something badly enough and you take action and think about it often enough the chances are you will get what you want in life.

I believe the mis-interpretation of all the law of attraction stuff is that a lot of people were saying ‘If I think about winning the lottery it will happen’, and when it didn’t happen then the Law of Attraction got a bad name. Guess what, if you don’t take action you will never get what you want in life.

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Love Waits For You

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms. ~ David Deida   I'll teach you how to find the guy that will stand tall for you!

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Ready For Love?

Are You Ready For Love?

alt="Are You Ready For Love?"

Getting to the heart of what holds you back.

If someone were to ask you what you really wanted from a relationship – what would the answer be?

It’s that time of year when not only are we busier at work than ever, but our personal lives are about to get busier as well! So many really wonderful women I know are juggling multiple commitments, and let’s face it, part of being successful and happy is being well-rounded. It’s only natural that we want to make the most of all the opportunities around us!

But one often overlooked aspect of “making the most” of our opportunities is cultivating a sense of joy, presence and awareness about ourselves. Your awareness is important because it keeps you from being caught up in a whirlwind of activity just for the sake of being busy or collecting accolades.

Sometimes you focus on or play up one particular part of your identity, while completely disregarding other parts of yourselves. You have many facets and dimensions. Time to look at all of them and express some of the ignored diemsions by enjoying them.

I want to encourage you to take a little time – and get clarity about who you are, and who and what you need in your life. This is the perfect time to examine this! No time like the present.

 

 

Why You Are Perfect For Someone

There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You

alt="There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You"

Believe this for I know it is true.

I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible women in my career. The funny thing is a lot of them seem to think that if you’re attractive and female, you simply blend in with all the other attractive women out there. They imagine that men find all smart, attractive women to be interchangeable. It’s almost as if women aren’t giving men enough credit to know the difference!

I’m here to tell you men are much deeper, romantic, intuitive, have feelings and emotions they don’t show, and are smarter than you might think. The man you want and need is going to be looking for someone just like you.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s 50s or 60s and you’re “available”, then why haven’t found the man that’s right for you? Is it fair to say that you might be the one looking in the wrong direction, and therefore attracting the men that aren’t looking for you? Your age? Your look? Your personality? Are you perhaps looking to men who aren’t relationship ready – unavailable – and who don’t know what they want? It’s a lot to think about.

When I was single, I intentionally put my blinders on when it came to other women, and only focused on what I personally had to offer a man. I knew that my guy would be looking for what I brought to the table, and I never relied on my external appearance to attract a man. My advice is for you to do the same. We are all unique women. When it comes to finding your Mr. Right, you will be perfect for each other because of your shared values, goals, chemistry and personality. He will be drawn to you. He won’t resist.

This is for everyone reading this: what makes you unique and lovable? What qualities and traits do you have? What have others noticed and complimented you for? Write it in a journal or put it on a sticky note and keep it where you can remind yourself.

Why should a man choose you over someone else? It’s vital to your relationship success that you have a full understanding of where your romantic value lies. Stop worrying about other women. Just shine in your own spotlight. He will notice you. I promise!

 

What Choices Are You Making With Your Love Life

Know What Holds You Back From Finding Love

Has love escaped you – time for a change

alt="Know What Holds You Back From Finding Love"

1. Be Smart About Who’s In Your Life (and Why).

Is there a man you’re considering letting get closer? Are you ready to date again, light up some sparks and flirt with someone new? Any relationship or dating that’s on the horizon will result in a much deeper, more effective connection if you’ve cultivated that joy and awareness mentioned above.  Know what holds you back from finding love. Work through the questions below:

Do you consider yourself wise and trusting your own intuition when it comes to the relationships in your life? In other words, do the people you allow into your life reflect who you are and what you stand for? I’m not talking just about romantic love, but what about even your coworkers, friends and family?

And, of course, what about the men you date? What does it mean that you’ve allowed these particular individuals in? That you devote any of your time to them? Believe it or not, being intentionally conscious of your perspective on this has a great impact on who you connect with romantically, and even has an impact on your overall confidence.

Here’s another question: do your decisions, large and small, align with your core values? Do you act in your own best interest? Are you able to speak your truth and ask for what you really need with ease and confidence? Better yet, do you know for sure what you really need from a lasting relationship?

If you don’t develop this part of yourself, you’ll forever be in a cycle of feeling like the world isn’t listening to you. And all too often, an underlying frustration will be at the center of your universe. We all know how helpful that is, right?

Are there patterns you see? Destructive patterns? Repeat dating patterns that keep you single? Ways you sabotage or talk someone right out of loving you? Do you pick the same guy over and over again?

This week, take a little time out for yourself and start looking at the men you’ve invited into your life. Make a mental list of their qualities and what the relationship brought to you. Was it pain or joy? Did you feel seen or heard by them? Loved, cherished, adored and respected? Don’t restrict yourself. There’s no judgement here. Just a time to reevaluate.

Unless you are centered about your core values, know what you need, and stop repeating patterns you’ll have trouble getting what you want and need from a man, no matter how fantastic he is. It really is in your hands, and self-knowledge is the first step to getting what you most want.

2. Gain a Fresh Perspective: Flirting is Natural, Dating is Fun, and You Can Connect More Deeply with the Men You Meet.

Finally, I want you to know one thing: you already are an amazing woman. You have everything you need to have to meet the guy. There are really only two things that ever hold you back – 1) You are not ready  2) You don’t know how

We are all in different phases of our journey, and that is fine and perfectly healthy. The fact that you are here and reading my articles illustrates that you want more in life and in love. That means so much to me. You deserve all the joy and happiness you’re seeking, regardless of your relationship status at the moment. You deserve it simply because you are you!

Be sure to answer the questions above and find out where you are and how the answers will help you go forward. I am here if you need extra help.

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