Navigating Your Relationship Through The Modern Storm

LOVE VS. UNCERTAINTY

Love Vs. Uncertainty

For many couples, these are hard times. Financial uncertainty seems to be the order of the day and even those with good jobs and steady incomes are not immune from the changing winds of fortune that seem to dictate our lives in the 21st century. Uncertainty causes a degree of anguish in us. We are a species of pattern and order and we like to know that our lives are on a steady course. When uncertainty becomes the norm in our lives and dictates the events that affect us, we feel as if we have no control over our lives.

If one of us loses our income or the family has to live with the daily uncertainty of losing it, we become emotionally vulnerable and may overcompensate for this feeling by becoming more defensive to each other than we would normally be.

A slight comment that would, in better circumstances, be laughed off, can become a misinterpreted indignity and the crux of a heated argument.

If there are young children in the relationship the degree of frustration can be magnified. Especially if a frustrated parent overreacts to something that the child did negatively and forces the spouse to take the defense of the child. Many arguments stem from insignificant issues when we are under extreme mental pressure.

This is especially true when bill time rolls around and the family has to stretch every penny to make ends meet. There is no hard fast rule for protecting ourselves from the anguish of uncertainty.

It can be said that the only certain thing in the universe is change. It is as much a part of life as the air we breath. We can, however, remember that a family is a team. A team is strong because the weight of the problems are borne by everyone. If you can agree to this simple philosophy many of the problems are already solved. It’s important to be honest with each other about what those problems are and work as a team to help find some solutions together.

The first rule is DON’T BLAME. If you find yourselves squabbling over petty issues, you’re already sunk before you even launch the boat. Agree that what’s in the past stays there and focus on the future together like you did when you were first contemplating your lives as a family.

Be prepared to sacrifice. If it means a little inconvenience to your lives to get through the storm then put your head down and try to weather it together without lashing out at one another.

Love will be tested. It’s an integral part of the process of real love. How you stand the test in hard times will measure the quality of the love you both felt on the day you first met.

And much of that measure will be in the quality of your characters during the degrees of difficulty and uncertainty that life throws at you.

If you can recognize the weakness in yourselves and overcome them as a team, resist the temptation to give in to hopelessness and keep the embers of your love alive, you will come through these hard times with a stronger, more loving relationship and a better control of the course of your destiny, despite the uncertainty life will continue to throw at you.