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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Breakup Help / Get Back Up And Love Again

Monday September 2, 2013 by Debbie

Get Back Up And Love Again

Don’t Turn Your Back On Love

Ride Out The Pain Of A Broken Heart And Love Again

To all of you daughters  . . .

Sarah Kay, an incredible poet that gives a powerful message for all women everywhere. Every time I see this girl she gives me goosebumps. As well as being absolutely beautiful, her poetry takes your breath away.

Here is what Sarah Kay said:

“If I should have a daughter, instead of “Mom,” she’s gonna call me “Point B,” because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.” And she’s going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by Band-Aids or poetry. So the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried.

“And, baby,” I’ll tell her, don’t keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick; I’ve done it a million times. You’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him.” But I know she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks that chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything, if you let it.

“I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass-bottom boat, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind, because that’s the way my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this. ♫ There’ll be days like this, my momma said. ♫ When you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when your boots will fill with rain, and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you. Because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it’s sent away. You will put the wind in winsome, lose some. You will put the star in starting over, and over. And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

“And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am pretty damn naive. But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it. “Baby,” I’ll tell her, “remember, your momma is a worrier, and your poppa is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.” Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things. And always apologize when you’ve done something wrong, but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. Your voice is small, but don’t ever stop singing. And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.”

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alt="Rebound Love After A Breakup"

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

 Rebound Love After A BreakupShould You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

 

Maintain your standards

 

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

 

Beware of the handiest person

 

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

 

Celebrity Love Coach

Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon

Don’t Rush Into Texting After The First Date

Don't Text Too Soon

Dating Tip: Once you go on a first date, you start to build the connection if you feel the two of you clicked. First impressions are usually correct. Don’t just pay attention to the physical attraction and chemistry you feel or don’t feel. That alone won’t help you make the best decision about who he is. You will feel that you need to communicate after the first date especially if you don’t hear from him. Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon. It’s great to show gratitude for having a good time but don’t text too soon.

You don’t want to come across as needy or desperate. So slow down and resist the temptation to text right away. It will also lead to lowering your confidence. You see, you will have your hopes up that he will reply right away. There is an expectation that you want more than the place where the relationship stands at this moment.

Why You Are Perfect For Someone

There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You

alt="There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You"

Believe this for I know it is true.

I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible women in my career. The funny thing is a lot of them seem to think that if you’re attractive and female, you simply blend in with all the other attractive women out there. They imagine that men find all smart, attractive women to be interchangeable. It’s almost as if women aren’t giving men enough credit to know the difference!

I’m here to tell you men are much deeper, romantic, intuitive, have feelings and emotions they don’t show, and are smarter than you might think. The man you want and need is going to be looking for someone just like you.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s 50s or 60s and you’re “available”, then why haven’t found the man that’s right for you? Is it fair to say that you might be the one looking in the wrong direction, and therefore attracting the men that aren’t looking for you? Your age? Your look? Your personality? Are you perhaps looking to men who aren’t relationship ready – unavailable – and who don’t know what they want? It’s a lot to think about.

When I was single, I intentionally put my blinders on when it came to other women, and only focused on what I personally had to offer a man. I knew that my guy would be looking for what I brought to the table, and I never relied on my external appearance to attract a man. My advice is for you to do the same. We are all unique women. When it comes to finding your Mr. Right, you will be perfect for each other because of your shared values, goals, chemistry and personality. He will be drawn to you. He won’t resist.

This is for everyone reading this: what makes you unique and lovable? What qualities and traits do you have? What have others noticed and complimented you for? Write it in a journal or put it on a sticky note and keep it where you can remind yourself.

Why should a man choose you over someone else? It’s vital to your relationship success that you have a full understanding of where your romantic value lies. Stop worrying about other women. Just shine in your own spotlight. He will notice you. I promise!

 

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