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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Get Your Ex Back / Can I Get My Ex To Come Back?

Wednesday July 6, 2011 by Debbie

Can I Get My Ex To Come Back?

What Can I Do To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

What should you do and NOT do to get your ex back?

You will find out that there are things you might be doing right now that are actually pushing your ex farther away.

Are you feeling like everything you do pushes your ex away further? Is this describing your situation to a tee? Are you asking “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back” every waking moment?

Here are some tips to get your ex back that will greatly improve your chances of getting back together with your ex boyfriend.

Obviously right now you are serious about saving or rekindling your relationship, which is what led you to this article in the first place. But if you are feeling overly anxious to get your ex back, you may be behaving in the wrong way – which will only cause your ex to pull away more. Men just resist this kind of pressure – it’s human nature to pull away from something that is pulling at us. Struggling against what men want from women is completely pointless anyway and it will only make matters worse.

Let’s talk first about what will make things worse – contacting him too much and making him feel sorry for you.  Wrong approach completely. So, I want you to be real honest and think about the past few days-

Are you calling your ex too much, constantly writing him e-mails or text messaging him?  OR . . . Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing these things, stop!

So What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back? Follow this strategy instead.

You are going to need to take a completely fresh approach. Begin by breaking contact off for a while, doing your own thing. Give him some space. During this time where there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend, you can focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life, rather than focusing on the relationship issues at hand. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline to prevent you from returning to your old ways.You will also be able to get ore self esteem and confidence while you are giving him some space. He will definitely see you in a new light. If you keep at it, you will show him your confidence again- this is actually something that attracts a man to a woman in the first place- men are attracted to a woman that is confident.  Being more and more confident will naturally attract him back to you.

During this time, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you, since you will no longer be pursuing him. That is because you are going to be great at giving him some space. You may become mysterious to him in some ways, because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now your ex is in a position to actually miss you, which is not possible when you are smothering him. He will think more about the positives and fun you had which will help you if you give it enough time. He will have the time to think things through clearly on his own. Give this a little time. Just be patient.

You must remember that the key to this strategy and repairing a break up is to work with human nature and the way a man is, rather than attempting to work against him. If you are wondering ” What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back“, now you should have a fairly basic understanding on how common mistakes can be avoided. Once you implement this basic strategy you can restore a balance and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place. Now you on truly on your way to get your ex boyfriend back in your life.

Just keep yourself grounded and avoid smothering him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get (don’t over do it) and let him make the first move, and you will come out on top. And then you will stop asking “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back“

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Why You Are Perfect For Someone

There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You

alt="There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You"

Believe this for I know it is true.

I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible women in my career. The funny thing is a lot of them seem to think that if you’re attractive and female, you simply blend in with all the other attractive women out there. They imagine that men find all smart, attractive women to be interchangeable. It’s almost as if women aren’t giving men enough credit to know the difference!

I’m here to tell you men are much deeper, romantic, intuitive, have feelings and emotions they don’t show, and are smarter than you might think. The man you want and need is going to be looking for someone just like you.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s 50s or 60s and you’re “available”, then why haven’t found the man that’s right for you? Is it fair to say that you might be the one looking in the wrong direction, and therefore attracting the men that aren’t looking for you? Your age? Your look? Your personality? Are you perhaps looking to men who aren’t relationship ready – unavailable – and who don’t know what they want? It’s a lot to think about.

When I was single, I intentionally put my blinders on when it came to other women, and only focused on what I personally had to offer a man. I knew that my guy would be looking for what I brought to the table, and I never relied on my external appearance to attract a man. My advice is for you to do the same. We are all unique women. When it comes to finding your Mr. Right, you will be perfect for each other because of your shared values, goals, chemistry and personality. He will be drawn to you. He won’t resist.

This is for everyone reading this: what makes you unique and lovable? What qualities and traits do you have? What have others noticed and complimented you for? Write it in a journal or put it on a sticky note and keep it where you can remind yourself.

Why should a man choose you over someone else? It’s vital to your relationship success that you have a full understanding of where your romantic value lies. Stop worrying about other women. Just shine in your own spotlight. He will notice you. I promise!

 

alt="passionate love"

Advice On Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Romantic history is marked by love letters. In fact, St. Valentine’s day came about when a priest (St. Valentine) fell in love with a Nun. They were separated and eventually executed, but not until Valentine wrote a love letter to his beloved. If you are feeling romantic, write a love letter. Here’s some advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

First of all, get in the right mood. Put on some romantic music. This can be a Beethoven symphony, the sappy songs of Chicago, or the music you and he fell in love with.

Next, find a spot where you can be uninterrupted. You don’t want the everyday annoyances of life intruding when you are about to write love letters to your boyfriend.

Get a pen or pencil and paper before love letters to write to a boyfriend. That’s because you will find yourself being more creative when you hand write the letter instead of being trapped behind the computer.

Think about the things you want to say to him. Pour out your heart. Because this is a letter and not direct communication, you can be more emotional than normal.

Get a book of love poems or romantic quotes to give you inspiration. You can even incorporate these into your love letters to write to a boyfriend.

Don’t think your first draft will be the final one. If you are taking the trouble to write a love letter, spend some time and edit it. Because it is more permanent than casual conversation, you want to get the wording and the emotions right.

Once you have the love letter to write to a boyfriend composed, copy it on to nice paper. Use a good quality pen. Consider using red ink or writing the letter with a calligrapher’s pen. The paper should be heavy. Think about using a colored paper such as tan or pink (depending on the ink color). You can also use scrap booker’s tools to sculpt the edges of the paper to make it even more memorable.

Think about how you are going to present the love letter as well. If you are going to put it in an envelope, consider using a wax seal to close it. That smacks of romance.

You might want to slip the love letter into his lunch box, place it on the bed, or tape it to his shaving mirror. All of these things ensure that he notices your tome.

Don’t get too upset if he doesn’t seem to appreciate all of the hard work that you’ve put into it. He really does know that you are expressing your love for him through the letter – he may just not know how to respond. He may feel that if he can’t write a love letter in return that he shouldn’t place too much emphasis on your work.

That’s my advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

alt="Rebound Love After A Breakup"

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

 Rebound Love After A BreakupShould You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

 

Maintain your standards

 

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

 

Beware of the handiest person

 

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

 

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