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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Flirting / Men Are Better At Noticing If A Woman Is Flirting

Sunday March 22, 2015 by Debbie

Men Are Better At Noticing If A Woman Is Flirting

It’s official: Men and women are TERRIBLE at flirting, reveal researchers – and say the key to attracting a partner is to abandon all attempts at subtlety

  • Women were worse than men at spotting when they were being flirted with

  • 36 percent of men judged correctly – compared to 18 percent of women

Humans are terrible at detecting flirting, researchers have found.

They say the key to letting someone know you like them is to abandon all subtlety.

alt="Men Are Better At Noticing If A Woman Is Flirting"

In a lab experiment, only 36 percent of men judged correctly when a woman was flirting with them, while women were even less aware and spotted in 18 percent of the time.

In a lab experiment, only 36 percent of men judged correctly when a woman was flirting with them, while women were even less aware and spotted in 18 percent of the time.

HOW TO FLIRT

For those wanting to hone their flirting detection skills, the researcher’s advice is to be open to the possibility that people are flirting, especially in settings where flirting is common, such as at a party or bar.

‘If you are missing out that people are flirting with you at a place where people go to flirt, then that’s on you,’ said Jeffrey Hall, who led the research.

However, he admits, flirting can be harder to detect in other contexts, such as work or being a subject in a study on first impressions.

Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas and author of the 2013 book ‘The Five Flirting Styles,’ conducted a study to see how often pairs of strangers correctly identified when the other was flirting.

‘If you think someone is not interested in you, you are probably right, they are not interested,’ Hall said.

‘But if someone is, you probably missed it.’

The study, published in Communication Research, brought together 52 pairs of single, heterosexual college students.

The pairs of strangers sat alone in a room and talked for 10 to 12 minutes in what they thought was a study on first impressions.

At the end of the study, the students were asked to fill out questionnaires in separate rooms.

Among other things, students had to note if they flirted and if they thought their counterpart had.

While the pairs were more than 80 percent accurate in knowing when their counterpart was not flirting, they were far less accurate in detecting when they were being flirted with.

Only 36 percent of men judged correctly, and for women, the number was 18 percent.

‘Behavior that is flirtatious is hard to see, and there are several reason for that,’

‘People aren’t going to do it in obvious ways because they don’t want to be embarrassed, flirting looks a lot like being friendly, and we are not accustomed to having our flirting validated so we can get better at seeing it.’

In a second study, Hall had more than 250 people watch six one-minute video clips of those in the first study interacting.

Researchers admit flirting can be harder to detect in other contexts, such as work or being a subject in a study on first impressions.

Just one person was shown at a time.

The third-party observers were not any more accurate in detecting flirting than those taking part in the interactions.

When flirting didn’t occur, they were 66 percent accurate.

When it did, they were 38 percent accurate.

The lowest accuracy rate was found in females observing males flirting.

They identified the flirting just 22 percent of the time.

Both men and women had an easier time detecting when females were flirting.

Hall said that could be because women tend to be more transparent.

HOW THEY DID IT

The first study brought together 52 pairs of single, heterosexual college students.

The pairs of strangers sat alone in a room and talked for 10 to 12 minutes in what they thought was a study on first impressions.

At the end of the study, the students were asked to fill out questionnaires in separate rooms.

Among other things, students had to note if they flirted and if they thought their counterpart had.

While the pairs were more than 80 percent accurate in knowing when their counterpart was not flirting, they were far less accurate in detecting when they were being flirted with.

Only 36 percent of men judged correctly, and for women, the number was 18 percent.

‘It doesn’t appear to be the case that men have some intuition about women and women have some intuition about men.

‘But it does seem that women are just a little more clear if they are interested or not,” Hall said.

Students’ difficulty in detecting flirts could be the same reason humans have trouble spotting a liar, Hall said.

The assumption is most people are telling the truth because most people do.

And, of those who don’t, it’s only a small group doing the majority of the lying.

The same is true for flirting.

‘Most people on most days are not flirting with everyone they come in contact with,’ Hall said.

‘But, some people are occasionally flirting, and maybe a few people are flirting a lot.’

Just like lying, knowing when someone is flirting can take awhile to pin down, and it often needs third party confirmation.

‘You just don’t assume everyone is flirting with you,’ Hall said.

 

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Creative Boyfriend Gifts – Unexpected Gifts He Will Love

alt="creative boyfriend gifts"Great Ways To Express Your Love To Your Boyfriend

Gifts Guys Love

Are you in a dilemma about what gift to get your boyfriend?  Don’t want to be over the top or too mushy? When giving gifts to those we love, we all want to give items they will enjoy and be surprised to receive. No one wants to give a gift the other person doesn’t want or something bland which they predicted they would receive or worse yet that they just throw in a drawer and forget about.

The following tips will help you find creative boyfriend gifts.

One thoughtful and creative boyfriend gift is a charm he can carry in his pocket to remember you each day. Men are unlike woman in that they do not like to wear necklaces with moments of the ones they love. By having a charm engraved with your names and a significant date that he can carry in his pocket you have given him the male equivalent of a female charm necklace. He will think of you each time he gets anything out of his packet during the day and he will be reminded of your love.

An inventive and creative boyfriend gift is having copies of the photos of the two of you cut into the letters of your names. Have the photo letters places in a frame to spell your names with a photo of the two of you in the shape of heart set between your names. This is a great way for him to enjoy photos of you together. Keeps him remembering the fun you have and how spontaneous you can be.

If your boyfriend is into vintage items then you want to consider getting him a vintage cigarette or card case and flask with his name engraved on it. This is a very classy boyfriend gift which he will enjoy well beyond the day you give them to him. You can really give a creative boyfriend gift with this idea.

You can make a memorable and creative boyfriend gift by making a special video for him. Film you, friends, and family members telling stories and sharing memories about the two of you. This is a special and you can make this one a unique, creative boyfriend gift which will be cherished each time he watches it.

Make going to the movies a special  date – creative boyfriend gift. Go to your local movie theater and ask if they sell ads which are shown before the film begins. If they do, you can purchase an ad and have it played on an evening you are taking him to see a movie together. The ad can have a picture of the two of you and saying a simple sweet message. Not only will he be surprised to see the ad, he will be touched by how thoughtful you are.

If you are looking to really impress your boyfriend one of the most impressive and creative boyfriend gifts is a new car stereo system or satellite radio. Tell your boyfriend you are taking his car to have it washed. Instead, take it have a high end car stereo or satellite radio installed into it. This is gift which will put a smile on his face each time he gets in hos car and thinks of you and this thoughtful gift. You could also put all of his favorite music on an iPod or Google Tablet or mp3 file which would not only be thoughtful but also be another creative boyfriend gift too!

With a little work you can give creative boyfriend gift which he will really enjoy.

 

What Choices Are You Making With Your Love Life

Know What Holds You Back From Finding Love

Has love escaped you – time for a change

alt="Know What Holds You Back From Finding Love"

1. Be Smart About Who’s In Your Life (and Why).

Is there a man you’re considering letting get closer? Are you ready to date again, light up some sparks and flirt with someone new? Any relationship or dating that’s on the horizon will result in a much deeper, more effective connection if you’ve cultivated that joy and awareness mentioned above.  Know what holds you back from finding love. Work through the questions below:

Do you consider yourself wise and trusting your own intuition when it comes to the relationships in your life? In other words, do the people you allow into your life reflect who you are and what you stand for? I’m not talking just about romantic love, but what about even your coworkers, friends and family?

And, of course, what about the men you date? What does it mean that you’ve allowed these particular individuals in? That you devote any of your time to them? Believe it or not, being intentionally conscious of your perspective on this has a great impact on who you connect with romantically, and even has an impact on your overall confidence.

Here’s another question: do your decisions, large and small, align with your core values? Do you act in your own best interest? Are you able to speak your truth and ask for what you really need with ease and confidence? Better yet, do you know for sure what you really need from a lasting relationship?

If you don’t develop this part of yourself, you’ll forever be in a cycle of feeling like the world isn’t listening to you. And all too often, an underlying frustration will be at the center of your universe. We all know how helpful that is, right?

Are there patterns you see? Destructive patterns? Repeat dating patterns that keep you single? Ways you sabotage or talk someone right out of loving you? Do you pick the same guy over and over again?

This week, take a little time out for yourself and start looking at the men you’ve invited into your life. Make a mental list of their qualities and what the relationship brought to you. Was it pain or joy? Did you feel seen or heard by them? Loved, cherished, adored and respected? Don’t restrict yourself. There’s no judgement here. Just a time to reevaluate.

Unless you are centered about your core values, know what you need, and stop repeating patterns you’ll have trouble getting what you want and need from a man, no matter how fantastic he is. It really is in your hands, and self-knowledge is the first step to getting what you most want.

2. Gain a Fresh Perspective: Flirting is Natural, Dating is Fun, and You Can Connect More Deeply with the Men You Meet.

Finally, I want you to know one thing: you already are an amazing woman. You have everything you need to have to meet the guy. There are really only two things that ever hold you back – 1) You are not ready  2) You don’t know how

We are all in different phases of our journey, and that is fine and perfectly healthy. The fact that you are here and reading my articles illustrates that you want more in life and in love. That means so much to me. You deserve all the joy and happiness you’re seeking, regardless of your relationship status at the moment. You deserve it simply because you are you!

Be sure to answer the questions above and find out where you are and how the answers will help you go forward. I am here if you need extra help.

alt="Rebound Love After A Breakup"

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

 Rebound Love After A BreakupShould You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

 

Maintain your standards

 

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

 

Beware of the handiest person

 

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

 

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