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Create True And Lasting Love In Your Life

Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

Wednesday March 25, 2015 by Debbie

Know If Someone Is Flirting

HOW TO TELL SOMEONE IS FLIRTING WITH YOU IN 12 MINUTES

Can you tell if someone is interested? Look for the signs . . .

1-3 minutes

If someone begins talking to you by dishing out compliments and being encouraging to things you say, it is a good indicator they are interested – according to the researchers.

Some people will also give a quick flirtatious glance at the start of the conversation.

Crossing legs at any point, though, was a sign that a person was not interested in the other.

Also, if a woman doesn’t ask many questions, or shrugs a lot, she probably isn’t interested.

4-6 minutes

If the person is still attracted to you, they will likely be even more affirmative, and also still quite complimentary.

They will also begin ‘palming’ – talking using open palm gestures.

7-9 minutes

Now, people start to do-away with compliments.

Instead, men will gaze at their partner if they are interested at this point, while women might start to divulge some personal details.

10-12 minutes

At the end of the conversation, women will open up and be joyful, while still palming, if they are still interested.

For women, you’ll want to look for a guy who has lowered his pitch from the earlier part of the interaction. This means they are still interested.

HOW TO TELL SOMEONE IS FLIRTING WITH YOU IN 12 MINUTES

The results suggest that, in general, in the first three minutes of conversation, people gave their partner a flirtatious glance if they were attracted to them.

They also dished out a few compliments, and liked to be affirmative – being in agreement, passing encouragement or nodding along.

In the next three minutes, people were even more affirmative, and still quite complimentary.

At this point, they also become very keen on ‘palming’ – which means talking while using open palm gestures.

In the next three minutes, though, people no longer relied on compliments.

Throughout the conversation, but particularly at this point, men gazed at the women if they were attracted to them, while women who started sharing personal details were interested.

In the final three minutes of the conversation, the best thing to look for if you’re a man is a woman who opens up, is smiling and laughing along, and is palming.

For women, look for a guy who has lowered his pitch from the early part of the interaction.

But there were also some indicators of what people did when they were not interested, as well.

For example, crossing legs at any point was a clear sign that someone was not attracted in the other person in the conversation.

Touching the arm, chest, hair or so on was also a sign they were losing interest, while teasing was also something not really favoured.

In addition, a woman who didn’t like the guy she was taking to typically didn’t ask him questions and shrugged, perhaps in indifference early on.

By the end of the interaction, men who weren’t interested started crossing their arms, showing their lack of interest.

How to get a date in 12 minutes: Study reveals the 26 signs someone is flirting with you

A University of Kansas study looked at the science of flirting
102 men and women took part in the study to find what people did when they were attracted to a member of the opposite sex
Results show that people were encouraging and complimentary – at first
Towards the end of a conversation, women become more expressive
Men, on the other hand, tend to lower the pitch of their voice later on
But crossed legs at any point are a clear sign someone isn’t interested
And if a woman doesn’t ask any questions, it’s not a good sign

TYPES OF FLIRTING (FROM MOST TO LEAST FREQUENT)

1. Being joyful (smiling and laughing)

2. Affirmation (nodding, saying yes)

3. Keeping the conversation going

4. Opening your arms

5. Disclosing personal details

6. Being expressive

7. Gazing at your partner

8. Being vocally animated

9. Speaking with a higher pitch

10. Self-touching (hair, face, body)

11. Playing with cards*

12. Leaning forward

13. Biting or licking lips

14. Asking questions

15. Shaking your head

16. Playing with objects (clothes, etc)

17. ‘Presenting’ breasts

18. Self-deprecating comment

19. Moving closer

20. Crossing legs

21. Shrugging shoulders

22. Open-palm gestures (palming)

23. Falling into your chair

24. Flirtatious glances

25. Compliments

26. Teasing

*Note: These were the conversation prompt cards used in the study

Before the study, people self-identified their flirting styles in a questionnaire, breaking them down into physical, traditional, sincere, polite or playful flirts.

The results are an amalgamation of the different types combined.

The participants were given comfy blue chairs, with a coffee table nearby, when engaging in conversations with a partner.

And they also had prompts that would help the conversations flow.

Dr Hall explained: ‘We had prompt cards to read with questions to help them learn about other person, such as “what accomplishment are you most proud of?”

‘These were meant to get the conversation going.’

First, they analysed the frequency of different types of flirting across all the groups. In total, 26 were identified, although some included groups of actions.

The most popular was being joyful, such as laughing or smiling.

In second was being affirmative, or in other words nodding and being in agreement with their partner when they were talking.

Keeping the conversation flowing was also something most people aspired towards, while people preferred to have their arms open than closed.

The technique that was performed least frequently was teasing the other person. The next least popular was being complimentary.

Next, people rarely chose to ‘fall into their chair’ – which meant sitting back in surprise or excitement – and they also weren’t that keen on using flirtatious glances, either.

Speaking to MailOnline, Dr Hall said he found some aspects of the research particularly interesting.

‘The most fascinating thing for me was teasing for everybody, whatever style, was negative in regards to being attractive,’ he said.

Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon

Don’t Rush Into Texting After The First Date

Dating Tip: Once you go on a first date, you start to build the connection if you feel the two of you clicked. First impressions are usually correct. Don’t just pay attention to the physical attraction and chemistry you feel or don’t feel. That alone won’t help you make the best decision about who he is. You will feel that you need to communicate after the first date especially if you don’t hear from him. Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon. It’s great to show gratitude for having a good time but don’t text too soon.

You don’t want to come across as needy or desperate. So slow down and resist the temptation to text right away. It will also lead to lowering your confidence. You see, you will have your hopes up that he will reply right away. There is an expectation that you want more than the place where the relationship stands at this moment.

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

Should You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

What Do You Mean He’s Not That In To You?

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . .

He never really was into you

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.)

He found someone he’s more into

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

He is tired of being dragged to church…

…and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

Your friends and family members frightened him

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

His friends finally talked him into leaving you

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can’t come out and play after dinner.

You nag… a lot

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it’s no longer a reminder, it’s nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

He’s a slob and you’re neat, or vice-versa

You don’t realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

You cost too much

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

You are not the same woman you were when he met you

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

You started rationing the cookie

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It’s not so bad. Don’t be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it — he’s just not that into you.

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?