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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / How Do I Find My Soul Mate / How To Find A Guy

Wednesday July 6, 2011 by Debbie

How To Find A Guy

Where Do You Find Guys To Date ?

Best Places To Meet Single Men

Where Girls Go To Find A Guy

As a single thirty-something, one of the challenges you find with meeting men is that – well, you don’t meet any!  At least not in your day to day life.  If you live in the suburbs which are populated mainly by families – that means you have to go to find guys to date instead of the other way around.  Working  in an office full of women doesn’t help either. And on top of where you live and who you work with – all your friends tend to be married couples or other single women who do not, unfortunately, have cute male friends or cousins that would be the perfect match for you.  It’s slim pickings at your gym and even more of a wasteland at yoga class.  You have yet to meet a potential date in the grocery aisle. When internet dating is slow to bring success, what options are left?

In his book, “LoveSmart,” Dr. Phil talks about the concept of “target-rich” environments.  What he means by this, is that a single woman such as yourself needs to go where the boys are, not wait for them to lose themselves in the suburbs and come knocking on your door for directions. So where do you find guys to date? Watching sports games, drinking beer at the local hotspots after work on Thursday night and generally hanging out where single guys tend to congregate.  A few of them may venture into the odd aerobics class, but chances are, you will have to go out of your way to find them.

Decide that now is the time to take things into your own hands and use these practical steps towards finding the best places to meet single men,  first recruit a single girlfriend in your mission to shake up your regular social routine. No more “girls’ nights” that entail drinking wine in someone’s living room. Instead, schedule yourselves for soccer games followed by drinks at sports bars. Beer festivals. NASCAR Races.

One of my friends was recently at a party where one of the invitees was known to have his pulse on the city’s social scene.  Taking a sip of wine and casting aside her self-consciousness, she asked him where the professional men downtown hang out.  Thankfully, he was more flattered than amused by her question and gave her a list of the best hotspots to try from Thursday through Saturday night. Armed with the list, she reported back to her girlfriend and told her that this summer, the goal was to get out of the suburbs and into the city at least once a week, to try out these different venues.  Because the best chance of finding Mr. Potentially Right, is going where the odds are in your favor. See what you can find out about your own city.  Ask other guys what they like to do for fun and outside of work. Then ask- where do guys like to hang out – where do you find guys to date?   It never hurts to ask and remember that guys love to help girls – I know more relationships that have started from just asking for help! Let me know where the best places are for you to meet single guys.

 

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Ready For Love?

Are You Ready For Love?

alt="Are You Ready For Love?"

Getting to the heart of what holds you back.

If someone were to ask you what you really wanted from a relationship – what would the answer be?

It’s that time of year when not only are we busier at work than ever, but our personal lives are about to get busier as well! So many really wonderful women I know are juggling multiple commitments, and let’s face it, part of being successful and happy is being well-rounded. It’s only natural that we want to make the most of all the opportunities around us!

But one often overlooked aspect of “making the most” of our opportunities is cultivating a sense of joy, presence and awareness about ourselves. Your awareness is important because it keeps you from being caught up in a whirlwind of activity just for the sake of being busy or collecting accolades.

Sometimes you focus on or play up one particular part of your identity, while completely disregarding other parts of yourselves. You have many facets and dimensions. Time to look at all of them and express some of the ignored diemsions by enjoying them.

I want to encourage you to take a little time – and get clarity about who you are, and who and what you need in your life. This is the perfect time to examine this! No time like the present.

 

 

Why You Are Perfect For Someone

There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You

alt="There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You"

Believe this for I know it is true.

I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible women in my career. The funny thing is a lot of them seem to think that if you’re attractive and female, you simply blend in with all the other attractive women out there. They imagine that men find all smart, attractive women to be interchangeable. It’s almost as if women aren’t giving men enough credit to know the difference!

I’m here to tell you men are much deeper, romantic, intuitive, have feelings and emotions they don’t show, and are smarter than you might think. The man you want and need is going to be looking for someone just like you.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s 50s or 60s and you’re “available”, then why haven’t found the man that’s right for you? Is it fair to say that you might be the one looking in the wrong direction, and therefore attracting the men that aren’t looking for you? Your age? Your look? Your personality? Are you perhaps looking to men who aren’t relationship ready – unavailable – and who don’t know what they want? It’s a lot to think about.

When I was single, I intentionally put my blinders on when it came to other women, and only focused on what I personally had to offer a man. I knew that my guy would be looking for what I brought to the table, and I never relied on my external appearance to attract a man. My advice is for you to do the same. We are all unique women. When it comes to finding your Mr. Right, you will be perfect for each other because of your shared values, goals, chemistry and personality. He will be drawn to you. He won’t resist.

This is for everyone reading this: what makes you unique and lovable? What qualities and traits do you have? What have others noticed and complimented you for? Write it in a journal or put it on a sticky note and keep it where you can remind yourself.

Why should a man choose you over someone else? It’s vital to your relationship success that you have a full understanding of where your romantic value lies. Stop worrying about other women. Just shine in your own spotlight. He will notice you. I promise!

 

What Do You Mean He’s Not That In To You?

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . .

1He never really was into you

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.)

2He found someone he’s more into

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

3He is tired of being dragged to church…

…and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

4Your friends and family members frightened him

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

5His friends finally talked him into leaving you

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can’t come out and play after dinner.

 

Woman nagging husband

6You nag… a lot

Do you nag your partner?
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Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it’s no longer a reminder, it’s nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

7He’s a slob and you’re neat, or vice-versa

You don’t realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

8You cost too much

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

9You are not the same woman you were when he met you

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

10You started rationing the cookie

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It’s not so bad. Don’t be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it — he’s just not that into you.

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