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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Resouces / How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps

How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps

These principles will definitely help you avoid The 14 Dating Traps:

1. Marketing Trap

Trying to attract a partner by making yourself more appealing, believing you have to sell yourself because nobody would want you as you really are.

2. Packaging Trap

The opposite of the Marketing Trap. Instead of seeking to sell yourself with attractive packaging, you focus on the packaging of others, such as age, body type, weight, income, etc.

3. Scarcity Trap

Believing there is a limited supply of possible partners so you have to take what you can get or be alone.

4. Compatibility Trap

Believing that if you’re having fun with someone and getting along well, then you’re compatible and a committed relationship will work.

5. Fairytale Trap

This is passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear so that you can live happily ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just “happen.”

6. Date-to-Mate Trap

Becoming an instant couple with everybody you date, as if you’re giving the relationship a test drive. Assuming that by becoming a couple and trying out the relationship that a successful committed relationship will happen.

7. Attraction Trap

Making your choices based solely on feelings of attraction. You interpret a strong attraction to someone as a sign that this relationship is a good choice and is meant to be.

8. Love Trap

Interpreting infatuation, attraction, need, good sex, or emotional attachment as love.

9. Sex Trap

Prioritizing physical intimacy and regarding everything else as optional. Your main criterion for a relationship is sexual attraction and physical compatibility. You become a couple as soon as you have sex.

10. Rescue Trap

Hoping that a relationship will solve your emotional and financial problems and bring you happiness and fulfillment; like winning the lottery.

11. Co-dependent Trap

You expect someone will love you and give you what you want by giving the other person what they want. You try to earn love and happiness by acquiescing, nurturing, giving, and helping. Needing to be needed often results in unconsciously attracting and choosing a relationship with a person who needs you but is unable to give you what you want. You really want to be in a relationship. You feel unworthy as you are, and that you need to earn love. You pursue relationships because you feel incomplete when you’re not in one.

12. Entitlement Trap

Believing you deserve to be happy and to get what you want in your life without effort or changes on your part, because you’re entitled. Your attitude toward your partner is “What can you do for me?” “Make me feel good.” “Make me happy.”

13. Virtual Reality Trap

Believe that “what you see is what you get” and seeing what you want to see instead of using actual experience and knowledge to make long-term relationship choices.

14. Lone Ranger Trap

You are focused on your goal of finding your life partner and believe that the other relationships in your life are less important and that you don’t need anyone’s help. You evaluate the people you meet for their relationship potential and don’t take the opportunity to cultivate new friends. Then, you feel isolated and believe that there’s a scarcity of potential partner


© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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alt="creative boyfriend gifts"

Creative Boyfriend Gifts – Unexpected Gifts He Will Love

alt="creative boyfriend gifts"Great Ways To Express Your Love To Your Boyfriend

Gifts Guys Love

Are you in a dilemma about what gift to get your boyfriend?  Don’t want to be over the top or too mushy? When giving gifts to those we love, we all want to give items they will enjoy and be surprised to receive. No one wants to give a gift the other person doesn’t want or something bland which they predicted they would receive or worse yet that they just throw in a drawer and forget about.

The following tips will help you find creative boyfriend gifts.

One thoughtful and creative boyfriend gift is a charm he can carry in his pocket to remember you each day. Men are unlike woman in that they do not like to wear necklaces with moments of the ones they love. By having a charm engraved with your names and a significant date that he can carry in his pocket you have given him the male equivalent of a female charm necklace. He will think of you each time he gets anything out of his packet during the day and he will be reminded of your love.

An inventive and creative boyfriend gift is having copies of the photos of the two of you cut into the letters of your names. Have the photo letters places in a frame to spell your names with a photo of the two of you in the shape of heart set between your names. This is a great way for him to enjoy photos of you together. Keeps him remembering the fun you have and how spontaneous you can be.

If your boyfriend is into vintage items then you want to consider getting him a vintage cigarette or card case and flask with his name engraved on it. This is a very classy boyfriend gift which he will enjoy well beyond the day you give them to him. You can really give a creative boyfriend gift with this idea.

You can make a memorable and creative boyfriend gift by making a special video for him. Film you, friends, and family members telling stories and sharing memories about the two of you. This is a special and you can make this one a unique, creative boyfriend gift which will be cherished each time he watches it.

Make going to the movies a special  date – creative boyfriend gift. Go to your local movie theater and ask if they sell ads which are shown before the film begins. If they do, you can purchase an ad and have it played on an evening you are taking him to see a movie together. The ad can have a picture of the two of you and saying a simple sweet message. Not only will he be surprised to see the ad, he will be touched by how thoughtful you are.

If you are looking to really impress your boyfriend one of the most impressive and creative boyfriend gifts is a new car stereo system or satellite radio. Tell your boyfriend you are taking his car to have it washed. Instead, take it have a high end car stereo or satellite radio installed into it. This is gift which will put a smile on his face each time he gets in hos car and thinks of you and this thoughtful gift. You could also put all of his favorite music on an iPod or Google Tablet or mp3 file which would not only be thoughtful but also be another creative boyfriend gift too!

With a little work you can give creative boyfriend gift which he will really enjoy.

 

Why You Are Perfect For Someone

There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You

alt="There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You"

Believe this for I know it is true.

I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible women in my career. The funny thing is a lot of them seem to think that if you’re attractive and female, you simply blend in with all the other attractive women out there. They imagine that men find all smart, attractive women to be interchangeable. It’s almost as if women aren’t giving men enough credit to know the difference!

I’m here to tell you men are much deeper, romantic, intuitive, have feelings and emotions they don’t show, and are smarter than you might think. The man you want and need is going to be looking for someone just like you.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s 50s or 60s and you’re “available”, then why haven’t found the man that’s right for you? Is it fair to say that you might be the one looking in the wrong direction, and therefore attracting the men that aren’t looking for you? Your age? Your look? Your personality? Are you perhaps looking to men who aren’t relationship ready – unavailable – and who don’t know what they want? It’s a lot to think about.

When I was single, I intentionally put my blinders on when it came to other women, and only focused on what I personally had to offer a man. I knew that my guy would be looking for what I brought to the table, and I never relied on my external appearance to attract a man. My advice is for you to do the same. We are all unique women. When it comes to finding your Mr. Right, you will be perfect for each other because of your shared values, goals, chemistry and personality. He will be drawn to you. He won’t resist.

This is for everyone reading this: what makes you unique and lovable? What qualities and traits do you have? What have others noticed and complimented you for? Write it in a journal or put it on a sticky note and keep it where you can remind yourself.

Why should a man choose you over someone else? It’s vital to your relationship success that you have a full understanding of where your romantic value lies. Stop worrying about other women. Just shine in your own spotlight. He will notice you. I promise!

 

Are You A Girl That Believes In The Rules?

40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’s The Rules

 Are The Rules Right For You?

By MADDISON JENSEN 

This book — The Rules — was what the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You was based on. The term “You are not the exception” is referring to The Rules. Historical evidence and references are explained in depth in the pages of this dating bible. It’s an interesting read, even if you don’t agree completely.

alt="40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’sThe Rules"

The Rules 40 Dating Tips:

1. Take care of yourself! Be feminine. Smell Good.

2. Make him approach you.

3. Be a Responder, not a Hunter. Hunters are men. You are not a man.

4. Never be offended. You love your flaws. You love yourself. Nothing you do is stupid. Smile and laugh.

5. Hunters don’t hunt animals that chase them or wait for them. They hunt unique animals that are hard to find, even if they have to travel to catch them.

6. Don’t call back immediately. You are a girl in demand.

7. Don’t call first. You might catch him when he’s busy and then you’ll feel bad and dumb.

8. End call first after 15 minutes ALWAYS. (Even though it sucks. He will call you more.)

9. End the date first.

10. Don’t reveal too much. Once books are open, they end up closed.

11. Be supportive and sympathetic

12. Don’t date people who are already dating people.

13. Be awesome. You’ve never been sad. You never want to be sad. Sad people are Sad. Happy people are contagious.

14. If his gifts aren’t romantic, his feelings aren’t romantic. You are not a tool set. You are a teddy bear and chocolates and everything sweet that he is feeling.

15. Refrain from seeing more than 2-3 times a week

16. Only casual kissing on the first date

17. Be busy until the moment he picks you up, that way you won’t over think things. Just be busy all the time. Busy people are important. You want to be important.

18. Even if you are not busy, pretend like you are. (This is not lying.)

19. Only tell your therapist or your dog everything about them. Don’t talk about them all the time. Words get around. You don’t want to sound crazy.

20. Seriously don’t have sex. When it comes to intimacy, stand your ground. They will respect you.

21. If bad things happen, stay emotionally cool. Don’t talk about the future. EVER. The future ball is in his court to bring up.

22. Don’t be bossy. Let him be a man. Bossy can come off as jealous or insecure.

23. Guys have balls. You don’t. Don’t let the ball be in your court. The ball should always be in his court. He knows what to do with his balls. Give him his balls.

24. Literally act like his life is totally fine and you don’t care to change it even if he’s wearing cargo shorts.

25. Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring.

26. Feelings are heavy and nobody wants those so shut up and suck it up.

27. You are the happiest, calmest person alive. Nothing can get in your way. Your life is so great that he wants to put himself in it, and he will.

28. Sometimes it is better to be lonely than rejected. Even then, you have netflix.

29. You are unlike anyone else. You don’t waste time. You don’t take shit from people. Shit is gross.

30. Past relationships are in your rearview mirror. Your future is through your windshield. Your windshield is bigger for a reason.

31. The person who talks the most has the most to lose.

32. Sympathy is stupid so stop trying to get it.

33. There is a reason why liars are lonely. Don’t be one in a relationship.

34. Busy is just “Busy”– don’t explain. Be happy and aloof when explaining that you are busy for the night.

35. Don’t leave things at his apartment. Make him make up excuses to see you. If he doesn’t… He doesn’t want to see you. If he doesn’t want to see you… you were too busy to notice or care (even if you do care).

36. His friends are the last people for you to seek advice from. Do not devalue your intuition and confidence by asking questions that make you look insecure NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.

37. Relationship ratio should always be him 70% and you 30-50%.

38. Eventually you will have to tell him everything about you, but don’t dump it on him like you’re nailing down his coffin. Let him understand that the weight of your past is something you carry lightly.

39. Keep yourself busy and happy. This isn’t just a tip to make people love you, this is a tip to keep you moving forward in life.

40. Stay fit, stay beautiful, and show him and yourself that you care about being healthy.

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