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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Dating After A Divorce / Dating After Divorce Can Be Easy

Friday February 15, 2013 by Debbie

Dating After Divorce Can Be Easy

Dating After Divorce Can Be Easy Or Difficult

alt=""Many people have a difficult time getting back into the dating world after they have been divorced. There is a period of grieving and healing that has to take place. The length of this period is different for each individual person. There is no set amount of time for getting over a divorce. Each situation and each individual are completely unique. The main thing to know is that dating after divorce can be easy.

People that have been married for a very long period of time often have the hardest time reentering the dating world. They have gotten so used to being with their spouse and they have not been on a date in so long. Often, they have forgotten what is involved in dating. Not only that but things have drastically changed in the dating world just in the last few years. Think about how different dating is with Online Dating, Speed Dating, knowing where to meet men, etc. Just try dating – get out there and enjoy the process of dating and being treated to a great time by someone new. Dating after  divorce can be easy.

Another thing that is working against them is the fact that times are always changing. There are new forms of dating, people are always changing, and improvements are made to everything. Society forces us to change and adapt. If you have been married for a long time, you will not be aware of the changes that have been made. You are at a loss going into the dating field. Stop and think about what you most want. Is it companionship, romance, fun, new experiences? Then take a stand for the love you deserve and approach it that way. Just get out there. No one will come knocking on your door. Try it – I promise dating after divorce can be easy.

People that are younger and that have not been married for a long period of time will often find it easier to reenter the dating world. They have not been off the market for as long. They are still pretty fresh. Don’t let the years you have been married stand in the way of what you most want. Dare to date. Dating after divorce can be easy for you.

Even though younger divorcees know what is involved in dating and what the aspects are they are much more likely to successfully date after a divorce due to these factors. However, young people that get married are also much more likely to get divorced. This creates a vicious cycle. It also changes the dynamics of the dating world. Don’t let anything stand in your way. Not statistics or facts or things you hear on the news. There is someone out there looking for someone just like you. This means that dating after divorce can be easy.

If you have a large group of young or middle age people that are all together, chances are the majority of them will have been divorced. Sometimes, people in this situation will have self esteem issues. They are afraid to get back into the dating scene. Don’t let fear hold you back from having love in your life. Discover what you have to do and make the changes and go forward. You can do this.

The fact that the majority of young people are divorced makes it easier in some ways for them to start dating again. They are surrounded by peers that have been through the same things that they are going through. Both people are dealing with insecurities, fears, and uncertainties. They tend to click more and enjoy spending time together.

The one thing that divorcees should be careful of when they are reentering the dating world is the fact that they are rebound dating. Learn how to avoid rebound dating. Some people like to take advantage of this fact. That is one thing that can make dating after divorce difficult.

They think that they can get what they want or can manipulate the person that is recovering from the divorce. At the same time, some people that have been divorced will be looking for someone to fill the void in their life. This is not appropriate and can ruin the chance for a successful relationship. They give false hopes to other people and end up hurting themselves and the other person. You must be cautious and careful and see if a guy’s actions match up with his words. Don’t rush things and try to avoid rebound dating. You need to see who someone really is before you decide if this guy is the one for you. You also need to heal from the past so you meet a guy that is great too.

If you are divorced and looking to get back into the dating world, you need to use caution. It is very possible to have a successful relationship after a divorce. You just need to use proper planning and know what you are wanting. Give yourself time to grieve your loss and get over the feelings that you have towards your ex. This will allow you to start dating with a clean slate and a clear frame of mind. This will ensure that dating after divorce can be easy for you.

Then, try online dating first. This will teach you a lot about dating. You will get great at screening through the wrong men and moving towards dating someone that is just right for you. That is a great way to see how dating after a divorce can be easy.

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Ready For Love?

Are You Ready For Love?

alt="Are You Ready For Love?"

Getting to the heart of what holds you back.

If someone were to ask you what you really wanted from a relationship – what would the answer be?

It’s that time of year when not only are we busier at work than ever, but our personal lives are about to get busier as well! So many really wonderful women I know are juggling multiple commitments, and let’s face it, part of being successful and happy is being well-rounded. It’s only natural that we want to make the most of all the opportunities around us!

But one often overlooked aspect of “making the most” of our opportunities is cultivating a sense of joy, presence and awareness about ourselves. Your awareness is important because it keeps you from being caught up in a whirlwind of activity just for the sake of being busy or collecting accolades.

Sometimes you focus on or play up one particular part of your identity, while completely disregarding other parts of yourselves. You have many facets and dimensions. Time to look at all of them and express some of the ignored diemsions by enjoying them.

I want to encourage you to take a little time – and get clarity about who you are, and who and what you need in your life. This is the perfect time to examine this! No time like the present.

 

 

Sweet Things To Say To Your Boyfriend

Appreciate The Things Your Boyfriend Does

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Sometimes just saying something nice can pull him out of a funk. If you have had a fight, it’s worth coming up with something nice to say. It is amazing how much your boyfriend will turn towards you instead of pull away by remembering to praise the things he does right. This article will explore some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend.

It’s just too easy to get caught up in the day to day aspects of life. Sometimes making a conscious effort to break the pattern and surprise him with something sweet can reignite the passion in your relationship. Appreciate the little things by telling him what he does right in the relationship – like sending a text to you, bringing you your favorite treat, etc.

But, remember that timing is important when you have sweet things to say to your boyfriend. For instance, saying them in front of his friends is likely to embarrass him or make him mad. Don’t try to wiggle out of a fight by saying sweet things either. This is the time to try to resolve issues not to cover them up with pleasantries. Besides guys don’t like drama and chaos so he won’t be in a place to hear the sweet things. You have to wait a while and give him time to cool off.

Think about the context of the words. For instance, saying sweet things when he is on the way out the door to a basketball game with his buddies may come across as a way to keep him home. But saying sweet things to say to your boyfriend during a romantic dinner may come across as loving. Pay attention to what is happening to him in the moment. Men tend to focus on one thing at a time. So take note of where he’s at and where his focus is at the time.

When coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend, keep in mind what will please him. This will vary from man to man. Therefore, I cannot make a list of 100 things that are pleasing. Instead, I can guide you in the kind of thought processes to go through.

For instance, you should consider his actions. If there are things he does that please you, complement him on them. Not only is this sweet, but it reinforces behaviors that you appreciate too.

You can also compliment him on his appearance. The perception is that gals need more complements on their looks, but guys appreciate this too!

Some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend involve his skills. Is he a great cook or handy around the house? Let him know. Does he have great social skills? Do you admire his relationship with his family? These are all the basis for sweet comments.

If his personality is something that drew you to him, let him know. He may be insecure about being a “nice guy” so your reassurances that his personality is great will help him a lot.

Of course, there are plenty of great things to say about his sexuality. Even if you haven’t gone to bed with him, you can always compliment him on his kissing. But, if you have gone all the way, think about making him feel like a real stud.

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Come up with the right words and the right time and you’ll be his for life.

alt="Rebound Love After A Breakup"

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

 Rebound Love After A BreakupShould You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

 

Maintain your standards

 

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

 

Beware of the handiest person

 

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

 

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