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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Confidence And Self-Esteem / Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Tuesday October 6, 2015 by Debbie

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

How To NOT Believe Everything You Think

 

Your thoughts are just that… thoughts. They are NOT facts! You get to choose the thoughts you focus on. So next time a negative thought pops up, let it go. Replace it with a positive affirmation.

All day, your mind is throwing you thoughts, waiting to see which ones you take the bait with.

And boy, do you ever take that bait! (I must confess – I do it too!)

The thing is you keep on repeating those thoughts, telling yourself the same lines and stories over and over again even expanding that thought to become bigger and bigger.  Pretty soon, you forget it was just a passing thought and believe it to be factual and truthful. You get to the point where you can even find the convincing eveidence to proof that random thought is correct.

Some of those thoughts just get you stuck.  It’s like being unable to move in any direction. The thoughts have taken over and you believe them to the point that you can’t get moving.  More than that, the thoughts give you reasons and excuses to not get moving.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Here are the 3 Biggest Thoughts You Want To Block Out of Your Mind . . .

These are three of those repetitive thoughts that keep you stuck, and actually allow you to stay stuck.

Here they are:

  1. “I’m not good enough.”
  2. “It’s not my fault.”
  3. “Life’s not fair.”

Sound familiar?

They certainly sound familiar to me!  I have said all of them to myself.  I have even gone looking for proof.  Only to find that they just keep me stuck.  They don’t help or serve me.  They just keep me from taking action. No movement at all one way or the other.

How about you?

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

You know your brain is like plastic, it can be molded into new thoughts and actually make new passage ways inside your brain. The best thing to do to change the thoughts that don’t serve you well at all is to turn that thought around and change the impact. Try replacing that thought with a positive affirmation: I am more than enough. Life is a great teacher.

For example:

If Thoughts Become Things Then Why Didn’t I Marry Brad Pitt? Just a thought?

So what did they mean when they said ‘Thoughts become things’?

Look at this way. When you want to go to the gym for a little exercise think about the process that happens for you to actually get to the gym.

Conversation in your head
Unconscious: ‘okay slacker, it’s time you did a little exercise’

Conscious: ‘mmm maybe, in fact no I think I’ll watch an episode of ‘Lost’.

Unconscious: ‘Look at your tummy, if you’re not careful you’re going to start ! come on get up!’

Your unconscious starts to throw you images of the gym so it’s stuck in your mind. It also throws you images of the benefits of going to the gym; feeling fitter, looking more attractive, losing a little weight, getting into your “skinny jeans”.

Conscious: ‘Yeah you might be right, I think it’s time to go.’ You get your exercise clothes on, grab your water, your bag and your car keys.

So what’s happened here is a conversation between your unconscious and your conscious giving you reasons why you should be going to the gym, all the time you are picturing the benefits and the more you hear the benefits and see them in your minds eye the more prone you are to taking action.

Blocking out
What a lot of people do when they would like to take action on something is they block out the thoughts that show the benefits of your proposed actions. Why they do this is to either avoid pain or desire more pleasure. So, in the scenario above the pleasure part would have been to lye on the couch and watch Lost , the painful part would have been going to the gym. Of course there are ways to change your thinking to reverse the pleasure and pain, but that’s for another post.

So when we want to avoid doing something that will ultimately have long term gains we block out the thoughts which lead us to take action. When we really want something we think about it more often and our unconscious mind works on ways to gain that desire and we work toward it slowly but surely. Sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes it’s very slow, but no matter what, if you desire something badly enough and you take action and think about it often enough the chances are you will get what you want in life.

I believe the mis-interpretation of all the law of attraction stuff is that a lot of people were saying ‘If I think about winning the lottery it will happen’, and when it didn’t happen then the Law of Attraction got a bad name. Guess what, if you don’t take action you will never get what you want in life.

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Creative Boyfriend Gifts – Unexpected Gifts He Will Love

alt="creative boyfriend gifts"Great Ways To Express Your Love To Your Boyfriend

Gifts Guys Love

Are you in a dilemma about what gift to get your boyfriend?  Don’t want to be over the top or too mushy? When giving gifts to those we love, we all want to give items they will enjoy and be surprised to receive. No one wants to give a gift the other person doesn’t want or something bland which they predicted they would receive or worse yet that they just throw in a drawer and forget about.

The following tips will help you find creative boyfriend gifts.

One thoughtful and creative boyfriend gift is a charm he can carry in his pocket to remember you each day. Men are unlike woman in that they do not like to wear necklaces with moments of the ones they love. By having a charm engraved with your names and a significant date that he can carry in his pocket you have given him the male equivalent of a female charm necklace. He will think of you each time he gets anything out of his packet during the day and he will be reminded of your love.

An inventive and creative boyfriend gift is having copies of the photos of the two of you cut into the letters of your names. Have the photo letters places in a frame to spell your names with a photo of the two of you in the shape of heart set between your names. This is a great way for him to enjoy photos of you together. Keeps him remembering the fun you have and how spontaneous you can be.

If your boyfriend is into vintage items then you want to consider getting him a vintage cigarette or card case and flask with his name engraved on it. This is a very classy boyfriend gift which he will enjoy well beyond the day you give them to him. You can really give a creative boyfriend gift with this idea.

You can make a memorable and creative boyfriend gift by making a special video for him. Film you, friends, and family members telling stories and sharing memories about the two of you. This is a special and you can make this one a unique, creative boyfriend gift which will be cherished each time he watches it.

Make going to the movies a special  date – creative boyfriend gift. Go to your local movie theater and ask if they sell ads which are shown before the film begins. If they do, you can purchase an ad and have it played on an evening you are taking him to see a movie together. The ad can have a picture of the two of you and saying a simple sweet message. Not only will he be surprised to see the ad, he will be touched by how thoughtful you are.

If you are looking to really impress your boyfriend one of the most impressive and creative boyfriend gifts is a new car stereo system or satellite radio. Tell your boyfriend you are taking his car to have it washed. Instead, take it have a high end car stereo or satellite radio installed into it. This is gift which will put a smile on his face each time he gets in hos car and thinks of you and this thoughtful gift. You could also put all of his favorite music on an iPod or Google Tablet or mp3 file which would not only be thoughtful but also be another creative boyfriend gift too!

With a little work you can give creative boyfriend gift which he will really enjoy.

 

Ready For Love?

Are You Ready For Love?

alt="Are You Ready For Love?"

Getting to the heart of what holds you back.

If someone were to ask you what you really wanted from a relationship – what would the answer be?

It’s that time of year when not only are we busier at work than ever, but our personal lives are about to get busier as well! So many really wonderful women I know are juggling multiple commitments, and let’s face it, part of being successful and happy is being well-rounded. It’s only natural that we want to make the most of all the opportunities around us!

But one often overlooked aspect of “making the most” of our opportunities is cultivating a sense of joy, presence and awareness about ourselves. Your awareness is important because it keeps you from being caught up in a whirlwind of activity just for the sake of being busy or collecting accolades.

Sometimes you focus on or play up one particular part of your identity, while completely disregarding other parts of yourselves. You have many facets and dimensions. Time to look at all of them and express some of the ignored diemsions by enjoying them.

I want to encourage you to take a little time – and get clarity about who you are, and who and what you need in your life. This is the perfect time to examine this! No time like the present.

 

 

Sweet Things To Say To Your Boyfriend

Appreciate The Things Your Boyfriend Does

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Sometimes just saying something nice can pull him out of a funk. If you have had a fight, it’s worth coming up with something nice to say. It is amazing how much your boyfriend will turn towards you instead of pull away by remembering to praise the things he does right. This article will explore some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend.

It’s just too easy to get caught up in the day to day aspects of life. Sometimes making a conscious effort to break the pattern and surprise him with something sweet can reignite the passion in your relationship. Appreciate the little things by telling him what he does right in the relationship – like sending a text to you, bringing you your favorite treat, etc.

But, remember that timing is important when you have sweet things to say to your boyfriend. For instance, saying them in front of his friends is likely to embarrass him or make him mad. Don’t try to wiggle out of a fight by saying sweet things either. This is the time to try to resolve issues not to cover them up with pleasantries. Besides guys don’t like drama and chaos so he won’t be in a place to hear the sweet things. You have to wait a while and give him time to cool off.

Think about the context of the words. For instance, saying sweet things when he is on the way out the door to a basketball game with his buddies may come across as a way to keep him home. But saying sweet things to say to your boyfriend during a romantic dinner may come across as loving. Pay attention to what is happening to him in the moment. Men tend to focus on one thing at a time. So take note of where he’s at and where his focus is at the time.

When coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend, keep in mind what will please him. This will vary from man to man. Therefore, I cannot make a list of 100 things that are pleasing. Instead, I can guide you in the kind of thought processes to go through.

For instance, you should consider his actions. If there are things he does that please you, complement him on them. Not only is this sweet, but it reinforces behaviors that you appreciate too.

You can also compliment him on his appearance. The perception is that gals need more complements on their looks, but guys appreciate this too!

Some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend involve his skills. Is he a great cook or handy around the house? Let him know. Does he have great social skills? Do you admire his relationship with his family? These are all the basis for sweet comments.

If his personality is something that drew you to him, let him know. He may be insecure about being a “nice guy” so your reassurances that his personality is great will help him a lot.

Of course, there are plenty of great things to say about his sexuality. Even if you haven’t gone to bed with him, you can always compliment him on his kissing. But, if you have gone all the way, think about making him feel like a real stud.

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Come up with the right words and the right time and you’ll be his for life.

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