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Create True And Lasting Love In Your Life

Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

Friday January 6, 2012 by Debbie

How Your Fear Hold You Back From Love

Fear & Forgiveness: One More Step On The Journey To Love

Last night’s session touched on some very difficult topics for me. 5 ½ years ago I terminated an unplanned pregnancy. My partner and I were not married and although we had regularly discussed marriage and he totally adores children my fears overwhelmed me and I decided not to go through with it. He said that he would support me no matter what decision I made. We went through with the procedure and it was never really talked about again. Every year around the time that I would have been due I think about how old my baby would have been. Every time a friend is pregnant or someone asks me when I am going to have children I think about it. It is always there haunting me. In recent months my partner has indicated that he thinks of it often as well and has also indicated that he is sorry for the decision we made.

Last night we tried to identify some of my fears that lead to my decision.

I was afraid of what my mom would think, having a child before getting married.
I was afraid that I would be a terrible mom.
I was afraid that at some point in the future I would be faced with the situation of being a single mom just like my mom had when I was in my early teens.

Growing up I had two parents that I loved very much and they loved me but when I was twelve years old their relationship started to fall apart and at fourteen my dad left. My parents did not split amicably and my mom has struggled ever since to recover emotionally. I feel that I took on the role of caring for my mom in many ways as she cried often and seemed too weak to stand up to my father’s antics. In turn this had a negative impact on my high school years and my own person reflections on relationships with men and my ability to trust someone to love me. I was very fortunate to have been surrounded by very good friends.

This thought often crosses my mind, “No one is ever going to love me forever, no one ever has up to this point and therefore no one ever will”.

I know that I can’t change the past and I must find a way to forgive myself if I want to grow into the beautiful person I was meant to be.

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. ~Jan Glidewell

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

Should You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

Sweet Things To Say To Your Boyfriend

Appreciate The Things Your Boyfriend Does

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Sometimes just saying something nice can pull him out of a funk. If you have had a fight, it’s worth coming up with something nice to say. It is amazing how much your boyfriend will turn towards you instead of pull away by remembering to praise the things he does right. This article will explore some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend.

It’s just too easy to get caught up in the day to day aspects of life. Sometimes making a conscious effort to break the pattern and surprise him with something sweet can reignite the passion in your relationship. Appreciate the little things by telling him what he does right in the relationship – like sending a text to you, bringing you your favorite treat, etc.

But, remember that timing is important when you have sweet things to say to your boyfriend. For instance, saying them in front of his friends is likely to embarrass him or make him mad. Don’t try to wiggle out of a fight by saying sweet things either. This is the time to try to resolve issues not to cover them up with pleasantries. Besides guys don’t like drama and chaos so he won’t be in a place to hear the sweet things. You have to wait a while and give him time to cool off.

Think about the context of the words. For instance, saying sweet things when he is on the way out the door to a basketball game with his buddies may come across as a way to keep him home. But saying sweet things to say to your boyfriend during a romantic dinner may come across as loving. Pay attention to what is happening to him in the moment. Men tend to focus on one thing at a time. So take note of where he’s at and where his focus is at the time.

When coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend, keep in mind what will please him. This will vary from man to man. Therefore, I cannot make a list of 100 things that are pleasing. Instead, I can guide you in the kind of thought processes to go through.

For instance, you should consider his actions. If there are things he does that please you, complement him on them. Not only is this sweet, but it reinforces behaviors that you appreciate too.

You can also compliment him on his appearance. The perception is that gals need more complements on their looks, but guys appreciate this too!

Some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend involve his skills. Is he a great cook or handy around the house? Let him know. Does he have great social skills? Do you admire his relationship with his family? These are all the basis for sweet comments.

If his personality is something that drew you to him, let him know. He may be insecure about being a “nice guy” so your reassurances that his personality is great will help him a lot.

Of course, there are plenty of great things to say about his sexuality. Even if you haven’t gone to bed with him, you can always compliment him on his kissing. But, if you have gone all the way, think about making him feel like a real stud.

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Come up with the right words and the right time and you’ll be his for life.

What Do You Mean He’s Not That In To You?

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . .

He never really was into you

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.)

He found someone he’s more into

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

He is tired of being dragged to church…

…and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

Your friends and family members frightened him

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

His friends finally talked him into leaving you

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can’t come out and play after dinner.

You nag… a lot

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it’s no longer a reminder, it’s nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

He’s a slob and you’re neat, or vice-versa

You don’t realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

You cost too much

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

You are not the same woman you were when he met you

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

You started rationing the cookie

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It’s not so bad. Don’t be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it — he’s just not that into you.

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?

Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

How Your Fear Hold You Back From Love

Online Dating Profile Redo