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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Ready For A Relationship / Should I Get Over My Breakup With A Rebound Relationship?

Wednesday July 6, 2011 by Debbie

Should I Get Over My Breakup With A Rebound Relationship?

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

When You Try To Get Over A Break Up With A Rebound Relationship . . .

Rebound Dating.

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.
The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

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How Taking A Relationship Quiz Leads You To Love

What A Good Quiz For A Relationship Can Reveal 

 

Can a quiz for a relationship really tell you anything you don’t already know? The answer is often yes, but you have to make sure you’re taking a well designed quiz created by someone with some real credentials. Find one of those and there are some very interesting things you can learn about what’s in store for your relationship.

 

Overall compatibility:

 

Don’t feel like relying on your horoscope to guide you to your soul mate? A good quiz for a relationship may not be able to tell you where your soul mate is, but it can give you an idea whether or not the person you’re with now might be it. Quiz results can give you insight into important factors like compatibility, values, viewpoints, beliefs, habits, and long-term goals.

 

Healthy or not?

 

If you’ve ever been stuck in an unhealthy relationship that involved physical or psychological abuse, no doubt you never want to be in one again. The worst thing about these situations is that it’s often hard to see where things are headed; until its too late.

 

That’s where a quiz for a relationship comes in. By asking the right questions, a relationship quiz can help you pick up on early warning signs, that you and your partner may not only be incompatible, but may actually be in an unhealthy situation.

 

Eternal love or dead end?

 

No matter how crazy you are about each other right now, you can never be 100% sure it will last. You can, however, get some idea, whether you have a good chance or you’re doomed to break up, though. Questions about how you envision the future with your partner and what kinds of plans you’ve made together can give you a fair amount of insight into this.

 

What problems are in store?

 

Yep, every relationship has some problems. Having an idea about what yours might be, gives you a chance to head them off before they get too serious. A well designed quiz for a relationship uses questions that help you zero in on potential problems which could grow into something bigger and be a deal breaker.

 

The quiz does this by asking questions like how do you deal with your partner’s annoying habits, what causes of any moments of tension between you, and what emotions seem to characterize your relationship.

 

How others see you!

 

Even if there aren’t any problems between you, your relationship could still face pressure from outside forces. It might be due to difference in age, race, social status, or any number of things you overlook when you’re deeply inlove. Unfortunately, your family and close friends, may not overlook these things and constant criticism from them can put a strain on the relationship. You need to be aware of what social problems you might run into so you can discuss how you’re going to handle them.

 

A quiz for a relationship can tell you a lot about what you and your partner have to look forward to in the near future. Just remember, though, no two relationships are the same, so no matter how accurate the test, be ready for a few surprises all the same.

Ready For Love?

Are You Ready For Love?

alt="Are You Ready For Love?"

Getting to the heart of what holds you back.

If someone were to ask you what you really wanted from a relationship – what would the answer be?

It’s that time of year when not only are we busier at work than ever, but our personal lives are about to get busier as well! So many really wonderful women I know are juggling multiple commitments, and let’s face it, part of being successful and happy is being well-rounded. It’s only natural that we want to make the most of all the opportunities around us!

But one often overlooked aspect of “making the most” of our opportunities is cultivating a sense of joy, presence and awareness about ourselves. Your awareness is important because it keeps you from being caught up in a whirlwind of activity just for the sake of being busy or collecting accolades.

Sometimes you focus on or play up one particular part of your identity, while completely disregarding other parts of yourselves. You have many facets and dimensions. Time to look at all of them and express some of the ignored diemsions by enjoying them.

I want to encourage you to take a little time – and get clarity about who you are, and who and what you need in your life. This is the perfect time to examine this! No time like the present.

 

 

Are You A Girl That Believes In The Rules?

40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’s The Rules

 Are The Rules Right For You?

By MADDISON JENSEN 

This book — The Rules — was what the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You was based on. The term “You are not the exception” is referring to The Rules. Historical evidence and references are explained in depth in the pages of this dating bible. It’s an interesting read, even if you don’t agree completely.

alt="40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’sThe Rules"

The Rules 40 Dating Tips:

1. Take care of yourself! Be feminine. Smell Good.

2. Make him approach you.

3. Be a Responder, not a Hunter. Hunters are men. You are not a man.

4. Never be offended. You love your flaws. You love yourself. Nothing you do is stupid. Smile and laugh.

5. Hunters don’t hunt animals that chase them or wait for them. They hunt unique animals that are hard to find, even if they have to travel to catch them.

6. Don’t call back immediately. You are a girl in demand.

7. Don’t call first. You might catch him when he’s busy and then you’ll feel bad and dumb.

8. End call first after 15 minutes ALWAYS. (Even though it sucks. He will call you more.)

9. End the date first.

10. Don’t reveal too much. Once books are open, they end up closed.

11. Be supportive and sympathetic

12. Don’t date people who are already dating people.

13. Be awesome. You’ve never been sad. You never want to be sad. Sad people are Sad. Happy people are contagious.

14. If his gifts aren’t romantic, his feelings aren’t romantic. You are not a tool set. You are a teddy bear and chocolates and everything sweet that he is feeling.

15. Refrain from seeing more than 2-3 times a week

16. Only casual kissing on the first date

17. Be busy until the moment he picks you up, that way you won’t over think things. Just be busy all the time. Busy people are important. You want to be important.

18. Even if you are not busy, pretend like you are. (This is not lying.)

19. Only tell your therapist or your dog everything about them. Don’t talk about them all the time. Words get around. You don’t want to sound crazy.

20. Seriously don’t have sex. When it comes to intimacy, stand your ground. They will respect you.

21. If bad things happen, stay emotionally cool. Don’t talk about the future. EVER. The future ball is in his court to bring up.

22. Don’t be bossy. Let him be a man. Bossy can come off as jealous or insecure.

23. Guys have balls. You don’t. Don’t let the ball be in your court. The ball should always be in his court. He knows what to do with his balls. Give him his balls.

24. Literally act like his life is totally fine and you don’t care to change it even if he’s wearing cargo shorts.

25. Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring.

26. Feelings are heavy and nobody wants those so shut up and suck it up.

27. You are the happiest, calmest person alive. Nothing can get in your way. Your life is so great that he wants to put himself in it, and he will.

28. Sometimes it is better to be lonely than rejected. Even then, you have netflix.

29. You are unlike anyone else. You don’t waste time. You don’t take shit from people. Shit is gross.

30. Past relationships are in your rearview mirror. Your future is through your windshield. Your windshield is bigger for a reason.

31. The person who talks the most has the most to lose.

32. Sympathy is stupid so stop trying to get it.

33. There is a reason why liars are lonely. Don’t be one in a relationship.

34. Busy is just “Busy”– don’t explain. Be happy and aloof when explaining that you are busy for the night.

35. Don’t leave things at his apartment. Make him make up excuses to see you. If he doesn’t… He doesn’t want to see you. If he doesn’t want to see you… you were too busy to notice or care (even if you do care).

36. His friends are the last people for you to seek advice from. Do not devalue your intuition and confidence by asking questions that make you look insecure NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.

37. Relationship ratio should always be him 70% and you 30-50%.

38. Eventually you will have to tell him everything about you, but don’t dump it on him like you’re nailing down his coffin. Let him understand that the weight of your past is something you carry lightly.

39. Keep yourself busy and happy. This isn’t just a tip to make people love you, this is a tip to keep you moving forward in life.

40. Stay fit, stay beautiful, and show him and yourself that you care about being healthy.

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