Communicate Effectively With Each Other

 Solving Communication Problems In Your Relationship

Most couples would agree that the biggest struggle they have in their relationship is communication problems. The causes occur over time as you less and less hang on every word that he says.  Communication problems in relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems can be easier to solve with some helpful insight.

Bridge the gender gap!

You probably realize that men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways. There are a couple of things to consider to begin to close the gender gap and overcome communication problems in relationships. Keep an open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or even start thinking of the differences as childish or petty – lacking of understanding and compassion. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical or perfectly understanding. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love can help you avoid a lot of communication problems in relationships.

Listen thoughtfully!

Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your partner is going to say and can mind read what he is thinking.  Unless you have ESP, you’ll get a lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. Listen completely taking into consideration that the average person only hears 7 % of the message someone is trying to convey.  Here is a great tip to make sure you got the full message – when sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard and got the full extent of the message.

Release the need for blame!

When one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to work it out peacefully. Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. Specific issues like “When you flirt with other people, I feel rejected.” are fine, but sweeping statements like “You make me miserable.” or “You stress me out.” are taking it too far. All that happens is that you will push him away.

Stick to the facts!

When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stay with what can’t be argued like your own feelings, your own perspective,  and what your partner already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave you don’t think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly.

Be frank, but kind!

You’re not doing anyone any favors by taking a “put up and shut up” attitude to problems in relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.

Be a friend, not a coach!

Chances are, your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend, confidant, and lover.

You may think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like. Everyone responds to praise and pointing out the good. It is a fantasti motivator.

There, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but the really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.