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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Heartbreak To Happiness: One Client's Journey / Heartbreak To Happiness: The New Journey Begins

Thursday January 5, 2012 by Debbie

Heartbreak To Happiness: The New Journey Begins

What does New Year’s mean to me? A Daring Promise Of Love

At the start of every year many of us make resolutions, they might be to lose weight, eat healthier, get a better job… This year I have resolved to take better care of myself mentally. I have vowed to do whatever it takes to learn to love the person I am. I am going to develop habits that will help me wipe out the negative thoughts that take control of me sometimes. For too many years now I have thought that I wasn’t worthy of love, that I wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough, athletic enough. This isn’t true. I am enough and more. I have so much to offer.

About a month ago I read somewhere the following statement – “We can’t change our partner, we can’t undo the past, and we can’t make someone love us. What we can do is be the very best person we can be.” This hit home for me, the only thing that I have the absolute power to do is help myself overcome my fears and learn to love and trust myself. I can’t erase the mistakes that I have made, and believe me there have been many, and I can’t take back the mean things I have said. I can move forward from this day on and be the person that I would love to spend time with.

Be consistent, pick your path and then continue down that path… that is what 2012 is about for me!

 

One Client’s journey- in her own words

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Advice On Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Romantic history is marked by love letters. In fact, St. Valentine’s day came about when a priest (St. Valentine) fell in love with a Nun. They were separated and eventually executed, but not until Valentine wrote a love letter to his beloved. If you are feeling romantic, write a love letter. Here’s some advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

First of all, get in the right mood. Put on some romantic music. This can be a Beethoven symphony, the sappy songs of Chicago, or the music you and he fell in love with.

Next, find a spot where you can be uninterrupted. You don’t want the everyday annoyances of life intruding when you are about to write love letters to your boyfriend.

Get a pen or pencil and paper before love letters to write to a boyfriend. That’s because you will find yourself being more creative when you hand write the letter instead of being trapped behind the computer.

Think about the things you want to say to him. Pour out your heart. Because this is a letter and not direct communication, you can be more emotional than normal.

Get a book of love poems or romantic quotes to give you inspiration. You can even incorporate these into your love letters to write to a boyfriend.

Don’t think your first draft will be the final one. If you are taking the trouble to write a love letter, spend some time and edit it. Because it is more permanent than casual conversation, you want to get the wording and the emotions right.

Once you have the love letter to write to a boyfriend composed, copy it on to nice paper. Use a good quality pen. Consider using red ink or writing the letter with a calligrapher’s pen. The paper should be heavy. Think about using a colored paper such as tan or pink (depending on the ink color). You can also use scrap booker’s tools to sculpt the edges of the paper to make it even more memorable.

Think about how you are going to present the love letter as well. If you are going to put it in an envelope, consider using a wax seal to close it. That smacks of romance.

You might want to slip the love letter into his lunch box, place it on the bed, or tape it to his shaving mirror. All of these things ensure that he notices your tome.

Don’t get too upset if he doesn’t seem to appreciate all of the hard work that you’ve put into it. He really does know that you are expressing your love for him through the letter – he may just not know how to respond. He may feel that if he can’t write a love letter in return that he shouldn’t place too much emphasis on your work.

That’s my advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

Celebrity Love Coach

Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon

Don’t Rush Into Texting After The First Date

Don't Text Too Soon

Dating Tip: Once you go on a first date, you start to build the connection if you feel the two of you clicked. First impressions are usually correct. Don’t just pay attention to the physical attraction and chemistry you feel or don’t feel. That alone won’t help you make the best decision about who he is. You will feel that you need to communicate after the first date especially if you don’t hear from him. Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon. It’s great to show gratitude for having a good time but don’t text too soon.

You don’t want to come across as needy or desperate. So slow down and resist the temptation to text right away. It will also lead to lowering your confidence. You see, you will have your hopes up that he will reply right away. There is an expectation that you want more than the place where the relationship stands at this moment.

What Do You Mean He’s Not That In To You?

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . .

1He never really was into you

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.)

2He found someone he’s more into

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

3He is tired of being dragged to church…

…and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

4Your friends and family members frightened him

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

5His friends finally talked him into leaving you

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can’t come out and play after dinner.

 

Woman nagging husband

6You nag… a lot

Do you nag your partner?
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Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it’s no longer a reminder, it’s nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

7He’s a slob and you’re neat, or vice-versa

You don’t realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

8You cost too much

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

9You are not the same woman you were when he met you

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

10You started rationing the cookie

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It’s not so bad. Don’t be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it — he’s just not that into you.

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