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Create True And Lasting Love In Your Life

Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

Thursday July 7, 2011 by Debbie

Finding The Single Guys

20 Places To Find A Guy

Where Do Single Guys Hang Out?

Do you know where the single men hang out.

The key to finding a great guy is to travel off the beaten paths used by every other girl. Leave your comfort zone and you’ll discover some new opportunities for finding a single guy that is right for you. Change your routine and go where the single guys hang out.

Think about this- Any man who falls for you when you’re wearing jeans and a ponytail will be just wild about you when you’re dressed for an evening out- heels and all.

Planning Your Next Move To Go Where The Single Guys Hang Out:

Get your girlfriends to help you with your plans by asking each one what kind of guy she is interested in and what those guys like to do. Organize your outings to accommodate all of you, s, once you declare your single guy preferences.

The 20 Best Places To Find A Guy:

1. Hardware stores. This is an easy place to strike up a conversation with any man. If one of your girl friends likes a fellow who’s handy with his tools, go right between the hammers and the nails. Men you meet at hardware stores already do chores around the house and are often homeowners.

Flirting Tip #1:, Think of something in your home that needs improving, then ask a handsome man to help you find and operate: a ratchet, a wrench, duct tape, oh, anything really. And then take the tip and actually use it!

Flirting Tip # 2: Always wear high heels at Lowe’s and Home Depot.

2. Sporting events. Men love watching games, talking about games, and thinking about games. Stadium games are where you find a great guy all year round.

Flirting Tip # 3: Make frequent trips to the concession stand.

Flirting Tip # 4: Always Google games in advance to pick up valuable sports tidbits so you’ll sound like a great catch while engaged in flirtatious conversation about the game.

3. The local basketball court. It’s so fun to watch men playing pick-up games (Seriously!) on the weekends on the neighborhood court besides you get to check out their six-packs without being obvious!

Flirting Tip # 5: Borrow a friend’s dog and play fetch near the courts.

Flirting Tip # 6: Bring an extra bottle of water in case you spot anyone who looks hot when he’s sweaty!

4. Bookstores!. Bookstore browsing is a perfect place for man-catching, once you know what you’re doing by observing which section of the store they are in.

Flirting Tip # 7: Casually stroll right into his aisle and start leafing through books on either side of him, and innocently ask him for a recommendation.

5. Watering Holes. Most men love to spend their evening checking out women in all the hot spots. You will know the when you see them because they move from one watering hole to another in pursuit of some nighttime fun.

Flirting Tip # 8: The local hot spots will give you a good idea about the kind of men flocking to each watering hole. You can also find out which evenings are best for meeting a single guy so ask the waitress. She’ll know and help you out.

6. Grocery stores. Go directly to “guy friendly” food sections. These include, but are not limited to, frozen foods and canned soup aisles, the soda and beer section, bagged chips and treats, and the deli section. Men go grocery shopping right after work or the gym, and they’re hungry! You can even give him a tip if he’s open to a conversation.

7. Gun clubs. Shooting ranges are full of rugged, outdoors type men. Ask one of them to help you improve your aim.

8. The Gym and Beyond! Check out the local gym early in the morning and see who’s motivated enough to buff up before work. These early birds have jobs !

Also check out other heavy workout destinations, like boxing gyms & martial arts classes. Unless you actually want to take these activities up for your health, ask the manager if you can come and observe the class before you join.

9. Sports bars and billiard parlors. The sports bar is a perfect target destination for a fun place to find a guy. Find out the dates and times of big games, since that is the busy time, well in advance to make it worth the trip.

Flirting Tip # 9: There is just something so irresistible about a girl that can play pool-

10. Men’s department stores: Men are often dazed and confused in this locale and are often found walking around,looking totally lost.

11. The Apple Store is always teeming with men, men, men, looking for gadgets and gizmos, gizmos and gadgets. Ask one of these potential Mr. Right’s for help.

12. Local Clubs and Organizations: Sierra Club, Hiking Club, Cycling Clubs, Skiing Club, Non- Profits and the like always have something going on and since activities are outdoors- men gravitate to them.

13. Driving Ranges, Tennis or Squash Courts. These locales are full of business men, professionals, and great men.

Flirting Tip # 10: Ask some lucky fella to help you improve your stroke. Wear something outstanding!

14. Fundraisers provide reliable places for some of the most desirable and otherwise hard-to-find men. Wearing vintage Halston or Pucci will really help you to stand out while showing your common interests in good causes.

15. Singles events/pro matchmaking services/Club Med. Travel Clubs, tours like Club Med, Contiki for under 35 year olds only, can take you all over the world and allow you to relax and have fun. Local singles events are advertised in newspapers, and online, and attract lots of single men, too . . .

16. Art Exhibits and Museum Tours. Find out what is coming to your city- check online and the local newspapers for future exhibits.

17. The Beach. All types of men spend time at the beach especially in the summer. July is the month to watch for single guys.

18. Lectures, Seminars, Workshops, and Classes.

Look for visiting professors at your local college, Science Lectures, Money Market and investment seminars, Educational Seminars, Etc

19. Comic book conventions, gun collectors, boat shows, car shows, etc are perfect for finding men.

20. Events, Expos, and Tournaments,

Think in terms of: Bowling, Fly fishing, The Local Rodeo. Heavy Metal reunions, Big Rig Racing, Demolition Derbys, Extreme Sports Competitions, Automotive Expo’s . . .

Check your local paper, and look for events and listings of things that you would never have thought of attending. Change your normal routine to find a guy and try out some of these ideas for finding a single guy that is right for you.

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

Should You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

What Choices Are You Making With Your Love Life

Know What Holds You Back From Finding Love

Has love escaped you – time for a change

1. Be Smart About Who’s In Your Life (and Why).

Is there a man you’re considering letting get closer? Are you ready to date again, light up some sparks and flirt with someone new? Any relationship or dating that’s on the horizon will result in a much deeper, more effective connection if you’ve cultivated that joy and awareness mentioned above. Know what holds you back from finding love. Work through the questions below:

Do you consider yourself wise and trusting your own intuition when it comes to the relationships in your life? In other words, do the people you allow into your life reflect who you are and what you stand for? I’m not talking just about romantic love, but what about even your coworkers, friends and family?

And, of course, what about the men you date? What does it mean that you’ve allowed these particular individuals in? That you devote any of your time to them? Believe it or not, being intentionally conscious of your perspective on this has a great impact on who you connect with romantically, and even has an impact on your overall confidence.

Here’s another question: do your decisions, large and small, align with your core values? Do you act in your own best interest? Are you able to speak your truth and ask for what you really need with ease and confidence? Better yet, do you know for sure what you really need from a lasting relationship?

If you don’t develop this part of yourself, you’ll forever be in a cycle of feeling like the world isn’t listening to you. And all too often, an underlying frustration will be at the center of your universe. We all know how helpful that is, right?

Are there patterns you see? Destructive patterns? Repeat dating patterns that keep you single? Ways you sabotage or talk someone right out of loving you? Do you pick the same guy over and over again?

This week, take a little time out for yourself and start looking at the men you’ve invited into your life. Make a mental list of their qualities and what the relationship brought to you. Was it pain or joy? Did you feel seen or heard by them? Loved, cherished, adored and respected? Don’t restrict yourself. There’s no judgement here. Just a time to reevaluate.

Unless you are centered about your core values, know what you need, and stop repeating patterns you’ll have trouble getting what you want and need from a man, no matter how fantastic he is. It really is in your hands, and self-knowledge is the first step to getting what you most want.

2. Gain a Fresh Perspective: Flirting is Natural, Dating is Fun, and You Can Connect More Deeply with the Men You Meet.

Finally, I want you to know one thing: you already are an amazing woman. You have everything you need to have to meet the guy. There are really only two things that ever hold you back – 1) You are not ready 2) You don’t know how

We are all in different phases of our journey, and that is fine and perfectly healthy. The fact that you are here and reading my articles illustrates that you want more in life and in love. That means so much to me. You deserve all the joy and happiness you’re seeking, regardless of your relationship status at the moment. You deserve it simply because you are you!

Be sure to answer the questions above and find out where you are and how the answers will help you go forward. I am here if you need extra help.

Ready For Love?

Are You Ready For Love?

Getting to the heart of what holds you back.

If someone were to ask you what you really wanted from a relationship – what would the answer be?

It’s that time of year when not only are we busier at work than ever, but our personal lives are about to get busier as well! So many really wonderful women I know are juggling multiple commitments, and let’s face it, part of being successful and happy is being well-rounded. It’s only natural that we want to make the most of all the opportunities around us!

But one often overlooked aspect of “making the most” of our opportunities is cultivating a sense of joy, presence and awareness about ourselves. Your awareness is important because it keeps you from being caught up in a whirlwind of activity just for the sake of being busy or collecting accolades.

Sometimes you focus on or play up one particular part of your identity, while completely disregarding other parts of yourselves. You have many facets and dimensions. Time to look at all of them and express some of the ignored diemsions by enjoying them.

I want to encourage you to take a little time – and get clarity about who you are, and who and what you need in your life. This is the perfect time to examine this! No time like the present.

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?