Discover Dating Success | Dating After Dating | Find Love

Create True And Lasting Love In Your Life

Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps

These principles will definitely help you avoid The 14 Dating Traps:

1. Marketing Trap

Trying to attract a partner by making yourself more appealing, believing you have to sell yourself because nobody would want you as you really are.

2. Packaging Trap

The opposite of the Marketing Trap. Instead of seeking to sell yourself with attractive packaging, you focus on the packaging of others, such as age, body type, weight, income, etc.

3. Scarcity Trap

Believing there is a limited supply of possible partners so you have to take what you can get or be alone.

4. Compatibility Trap

Believing that if you’re having fun with someone and getting along well, then you’re compatible and a committed relationship will work.

5. Fairytale Trap

This is passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear so that you can live happily ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just “happen.”

6. Date-to-Mate Trap

Becoming an instant couple with everybody you date, as if you’re giving the relationship a test drive. Assuming that by becoming a couple and trying out the relationship that a successful committed relationship will happen.

7. Attraction Trap

Making your choices based solely on feelings of attraction. You interpret a strong attraction to someone as a sign that this relationship is a good choice and is meant to be.

8. Love Trap

Interpreting infatuation, attraction, need, good sex, or emotional attachment as love.

9. Sex Trap

Prioritizing physical intimacy and regarding everything else as optional. Your main criterion for a relationship is sexual attraction and physical compatibility. You become a couple as soon as you have sex.

10. Rescue Trap

Hoping that a relationship will solve your emotional and financial problems and bring you happiness and fulfillment; like winning the lottery.

11. Co-dependent Trap

You expect someone will love you and give you what you want by giving the other person what they want. You try to earn love and happiness by acquiescing, nurturing, giving, and helping. Needing to be needed often results in unconsciously attracting and choosing a relationship with a person who needs you but is unable to give you what you want. You really want to be in a relationship. You feel unworthy as you are, and that you need to earn love. You pursue relationships because you feel incomplete when you’re not in one.

12. Entitlement Trap

Believing you deserve to be happy and to get what you want in your life without effort or changes on your part, because you’re entitled. Your attitude toward your partner is “What can you do for me?” “Make me feel good.” “Make me happy.”

13. Virtual Reality Trap

Believe that “what you see is what you get” and seeing what you want to see instead of using actual experience and knowledge to make long-term relationship choices.

14. Lone Ranger Trap

You are focused on your goal of finding your life partner and believe that the other relationships in your life are less important and that you don’t need anyone’s help. You evaluate the people you meet for their relationship potential and don’t take the opportunity to cultivate new friends. Then, you feel isolated and believe that there’s a scarcity of potential partner

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

Should You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

Sweet Things To Say To Your Boyfriend

Appreciate The Things Your Boyfriend Does

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Sometimes just saying something nice can pull him out of a funk. If you have had a fight, it’s worth coming up with something nice to say. It is amazing how much your boyfriend will turn towards you instead of pull away by remembering to praise the things he does right. This article will explore some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend.

It’s just too easy to get caught up in the day to day aspects of life. Sometimes making a conscious effort to break the pattern and surprise him with something sweet can reignite the passion in your relationship. Appreciate the little things by telling him what he does right in the relationship – like sending a text to you, bringing you your favorite treat, etc.

But, remember that timing is important when you have sweet things to say to your boyfriend. For instance, saying them in front of his friends is likely to embarrass him or make him mad. Don’t try to wiggle out of a fight by saying sweet things either. This is the time to try to resolve issues not to cover them up with pleasantries. Besides guys don’t like drama and chaos so he won’t be in a place to hear the sweet things. You have to wait a while and give him time to cool off.

Think about the context of the words. For instance, saying sweet things when he is on the way out the door to a basketball game with his buddies may come across as a way to keep him home. But saying sweet things to say to your boyfriend during a romantic dinner may come across as loving. Pay attention to what is happening to him in the moment. Men tend to focus on one thing at a time. So take note of where he’s at and where his focus is at the time.

When coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend, keep in mind what will please him. This will vary from man to man. Therefore, I cannot make a list of 100 things that are pleasing. Instead, I can guide you in the kind of thought processes to go through.

For instance, you should consider his actions. If there are things he does that please you, complement him on them. Not only is this sweet, but it reinforces behaviors that you appreciate too.

You can also compliment him on his appearance. The perception is that gals need more complements on their looks, but guys appreciate this too!

Some of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend involve his skills. Is he a great cook or handy around the house? Let him know. Does he have great social skills? Do you admire his relationship with his family? These are all the basis for sweet comments.

If his personality is something that drew you to him, let him know. He may be insecure about being a “nice guy” so your reassurances that his personality is great will help him a lot.

Of course, there are plenty of great things to say about his sexuality. Even if you haven’t gone to bed with him, you can always compliment him on his kissing. But, if you have gone all the way, think about making him feel like a real stud.

There are many sweet things to say to your boyfriend. Come up with the right words and the right time and you’ll be his for life.

Advice On Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Romantic history is marked by love letters. In fact, St. Valentine’s day came about when a priest (St. Valentine) fell in love with a Nun. They were separated and eventually executed, but not until Valentine wrote a love letter to his beloved. If you are feeling romantic, write a love letter. Here’s some advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

First of all, get in the right mood. Put on some romantic music. This can be a Beethoven symphony, the sappy songs of Chicago, or the music you and he fell in love with.

Next, find a spot where you can be uninterrupted. You don’t want the everyday annoyances of life intruding when you are about to write love letters to your boyfriend.

Get a pen or pencil and paper before love letters to write to a boyfriend. That’s because you will find yourself being more creative when you hand write the letter instead of being trapped behind the computer.

Think about the things you want to say to him. Pour out your heart. Because this is a letter and not direct communication, you can be more emotional than normal.

Get a book of love poems or romantic quotes to give you inspiration. You can even incorporate these into your love letters to write to a boyfriend.

Don’t think your first draft will be the final one. If you are taking the trouble to write a love letter, spend some time and edit it. Because it is more permanent than casual conversation, you want to get the wording and the emotions right.

Once you have the love letter to write to a boyfriend composed, copy it on to nice paper. Use a good quality pen. Consider using red ink or writing the letter with a calligrapher’s pen. The paper should be heavy. Think about using a colored paper such as tan or pink (depending on the ink color). You can also use scrap booker’s tools to sculpt the edges of the paper to make it even more memorable.

Think about how you are going to present the love letter as well. If you are going to put it in an envelope, consider using a wax seal to close it. That smacks of romance.

You might want to slip the love letter into his lunch box, place it on the bed, or tape it to his shaving mirror. All of these things ensure that he notices your tome.

Don’t get too upset if he doesn’t seem to appreciate all of the hard work that you’ve put into it. He really does know that you are expressing your love for him through the letter – he may just not know how to respond. He may feel that if he can’t write a love letter in return that he shouldn’t place too much emphasis on your work.

That’s my advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?

Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps

Online Dating Profile Redo