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Ten Things To Find Love Now

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You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

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You are here: Home / Attract A Man / How To Attract A Man

Thursday March 26, 2015 by Debbie

How To Attract A Man

The Best Way To Get A Guy To Notice You

How does a man knows you’re even interested and better yet approachable?

alt="The Best Way To Get A Guy To Notice You"

The best way to start getting a guy to take notice is with your smile. When you simply make eye contact, smile and say hello — while letting go of the outcome or your own fears — you actually practice allowing yourself the freedom to be you and let others take notice.

Practice doing this with everyone you come in contact with at first. It will give you time to get more comfortable and help you to take immediate action. We tend to avoid eye contact and you can’t imagine how great it feels to have someone look your way with a warm inviting smile. It also lets men know you are approachable which is what will allow him to open up and take the next step. Just know that everyone appreciates being acknowledged and greeted with eye contact and a smile.

This doesn’t mean you are the aggressor. You already know I want you to be more in your feminine. I’m simply encouraging you to invite and engage with new people around you. Not only the people you already know. It will also help you to see that the opportunity to meet someone new is everywhere and in everything that you naturally do.

As I mentioned previously, I know from personal and professional experience in working with both men and women, that men appreciate a woman who is friendly and open. It’s just not true that the man has to be the first person to say hello.

This week, make it a point to make eye contact with people you encounter, smile and say hello! I suggest is that you repeat this exercise  at least 12 times this week.

Next week expand to not only repeating this same thing again but this time around — pay special attention to the responses you get, and to what you give back in return like looking away and then glancing back with another smile. If you are approached what can you say in the moment that is genuine and open? Just take notice of what you experience.

Again, think of each hello as a chance to practice, letting go of the outcome and fear. The idea here is to build your self-confidence by being yourself and acknowledging another person in the moment — because you never know when you might be in the vicinity of the guy that is right for you!

You don’t want to be so busy or distracted that you miss the chance to connect! This exercise is not meant to get you 50 dates this weekend so there’s no need to be shy or only choose men you find attractive. This is a chance for you to draw a man naturally to you.

 

 

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Why You Are Perfect For Someone

There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You

alt="There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You"

Believe this for I know it is true.

I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible women in my career. The funny thing is a lot of them seem to think that if you’re attractive and female, you simply blend in with all the other attractive women out there. They imagine that men find all smart, attractive women to be interchangeable. It’s almost as if women aren’t giving men enough credit to know the difference!

I’m here to tell you men are much deeper, romantic, intuitive, have feelings and emotions they don’t show, and are smarter than you might think. The man you want and need is going to be looking for someone just like you.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s 50s or 60s and you’re “available”, then why haven’t found the man that’s right for you? Is it fair to say that you might be the one looking in the wrong direction, and therefore attracting the men that aren’t looking for you? Your age? Your look? Your personality? Are you perhaps looking to men who aren’t relationship ready – unavailable – and who don’t know what they want? It’s a lot to think about.

When I was single, I intentionally put my blinders on when it came to other women, and only focused on what I personally had to offer a man. I knew that my guy would be looking for what I brought to the table, and I never relied on my external appearance to attract a man. My advice is for you to do the same. We are all unique women. When it comes to finding your Mr. Right, you will be perfect for each other because of your shared values, goals, chemistry and personality. He will be drawn to you. He won’t resist.

This is for everyone reading this: what makes you unique and lovable? What qualities and traits do you have? What have others noticed and complimented you for? Write it in a journal or put it on a sticky note and keep it where you can remind yourself.

Why should a man choose you over someone else? It’s vital to your relationship success that you have a full understanding of where your romantic value lies. Stop worrying about other women. Just shine in your own spotlight. He will notice you. I promise!

 

Celebrity Love Coach

Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon

Don’t Rush Into Texting After The First Date

Don't Text Too Soon

Dating Tip: Once you go on a first date, you start to build the connection if you feel the two of you clicked. First impressions are usually correct. Don’t just pay attention to the physical attraction and chemistry you feel or don’t feel. That alone won’t help you make the best decision about who he is. You will feel that you need to communicate after the first date especially if you don’t hear from him. Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon. It’s great to show gratitude for having a good time but don’t text too soon.

You don’t want to come across as needy or desperate. So slow down and resist the temptation to text right away. It will also lead to lowering your confidence. You see, you will have your hopes up that he will reply right away. There is an expectation that you want more than the place where the relationship stands at this moment.

Don’t Date The Wrong Guy

9 Warning Signs You Are Dating the Wrong Guy

alt="9 Warning Signs You Are Dating the Wrong Guy"

Every woman has some dating doubts, but if you’re experiencing any of the following issues, perhaps you are dating the wrong guy. To find lasting love that is fulfilling and complete with true happiness, you should be aware that not everyone you date is the right guy for you.

 Here are a few dating warning signs you are dating the wrong guy:

1. He thinks the world revolves around him

If your guy is more interested in how you fit in his world and he doesn’t take into consideration your individual needs, you’re certainly dating the wrong guy. You feel that your partner only thinks about himself and he always does whatever he wants, even when you don’t like his actions and he knows about it. Two things to pint out – sometimes you need to teach someone how to meet your needs and how to be a we, an us. If they are not able to give you what you need and be an us, you will become hurt and disappointed by that type of relationship – no matter how great he looks on the outside.

2. You desperately try to impress him

Do you feel like you are wearing a mask when you are with him?  The trust is the trusth and being who you are around him should start right from the very beginning. Yes, it’s true that we show our very best in the beginning but if you always feels that isn’t enough – imagine how you will feel when you relax more in the relationship. If you feel less than enough for him, it’s time to realize that you needs someone who appreciates who you are. There is no one quite like you. Look for the relationship that appreciates the woman you are. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. If he doesn’t love you as you are, I promise there is someone that will and the rewards for that kind of relationship are well worth the wait.

3. He is too clingy

While most men complain about women being needy and clingy, there are guys who are more clingy than girls. If your boyfriend is one of them, you may be dating the wrong guy. It’s not healthy and wise to expect you to be his singular source of joy and happiness. You and your guy should have some alone time in order to keep the spark in your relationship. However keep in mind that you don’t want to be someone’s everything. Neediness is just not attractive and wears on a person over time. You also don’t want to feel controlled in the relationship. There is a healthy balance that needs to be created between two people. look for ways to keep it in balance and in prspective.

4. Your family and friends have never met him

Did you introduce your boyfriend to your family or friends? No? Why? Because he doesn’t want or because you are embarrassed by him so much that you don’t want your social circles to know him? If he doesn’t want to meet your family, it’s a red flag to watch out for in your relationship. Are you sure he loves you? Be sure to meet them and notice how he speaks about them, speaks about his ex’s, and how he interacts with family and friends. Is it with kindness, patience, acceptance – just look at all of it and see for yourself how things really are – then make a decision about whether or not this is right for you.

5. He doesn’t listen to you

If you feel like your partner never listens to you, you might be dating the wrong man. You feel sad and you share your emotions and feelings with him, and he starts doesn’t hear you and never notices the disappointment and sadness on your face.  A woman’s deepest desire is to be listened to and understood. It creates closenesss and connection. Try praising the times he is engaged and show him how to listen when he needs you to listen. If he still isn’t able to really take in what you are saying, you have to realize that you deserve more and will be hurt if this continues. Time to think about what you need and know when can’t give it to you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

6. You can’t imagine your future with him

Can you see a future with your boyfriend? If the thought of a lifelong commitment makes you cringe, you need to look at what the root cause is –  why are you dating him in the first place? He might be a good guy who wants to have a serious relationship but just isn’t right for you. He maybe hasn’t wanted to grow up yet. He might fear commitment. He maybe just wants a different lifestyle than you. Don’t fall in love with a guys future potential. Take a look at what he is telling you he wants in life. It is the truth. See if that is okay with you. If not, then find a guy that you can imagine a future with.

7. You are not happy when you are with him

If spending time with him exhausts you and you feel as if you want to avoid spending time with him all together – this is a warning sign you are dating the wrong guy. You should feel alive and happy with your boyfriend, not down, avoiding, making other plans, etc.Don’t let things get too routine and predictable. Try new things. Enjoy each other’s company. Dating should be fun. If not, pinpoint the problem area and make a decision about your course of action. It’s easy to let 2 , 3 4 , 5 years float by only to discover that something is just not okay when you are together. Figure it out now so that you can have the adventurous, fun relationship where you can’t wait to be together.

8. He doesn’t have any interests and hobbies

Is your relationship his only interest? If your boyfriend has no interests or hobbies outside of your relationship, perhaps you are dating the wrong guy. If he’s not passionate about anything and he doesn’t have any life goals, you shouldn’t hope that your life with him will be amazing. Sometimes people get lost. That is okay. But they can’t stay that way or retreat from participating in life. See if you can be a positive influencer in his life. Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. If nothing takes hold, he may have some fear around failure that he has to work out for himself. Bottom line is to decide how long you can hang on without a change in him. Look at what your life will be like going forward and if that is not going to be a constant source of frustration for you.

9. You must avoid tough conversations

It’s important for couples to discuss cares and concerns and what’s next for them as a couple. If each difficult conversation, for instance, about religion, politics, or how many children you want, makes him withdrawl and there is a pattern of avoiding it all together or more than that he gets upset by your bringing up and topic or discussion you may be dating the wrong man. One thing most men need is  the opportunity to know that something is coing a head of time. It is the way they are wired. So, try telling him you would like to talk to him about something important and that it is not about something he has done or not done – and tell him it will only take about 10 or 15 minutes and then ask when would be a good time for him. He may want to talk right then – stick to the timeframe you mentioned and then put your topic out there. Speak your truth. If he wants to think about it, then make sure you give him some time but tell him how important it is to hear his take on things within a day or two at the longest and then make sure that works for him If none of this works and he keeps avoiding all topis and discussions after you keep trying this method you need to ask yourself if this is what you truly want in a relationship.  It’s better to discuss these issues before tying the knot. It most important to know if you have someone that can have that kind of relationship.
I know it’s hard to be alone so you might stay in a relationship knowing that something isn’t quite right. But you both don’t want to face a painful and unfulfilling relationship either. Review the 9 Warning Signs You Are Dating the Wrong Guy and see if this is true for your guy. If so, take a stand for the relationship you most want and deserve. I’m behind you all the way.

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