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Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

Tuesday October 1, 2013 by Debbie

Will He Commit?

Is He a Non-Committal Man? The Quiz

How can you tell if he will commit to only you?

by DR. DIANA KIRSCHNER

Ah, yes, the non-committal man. Who comes on oh-so-strong in the beginning, promising the sun, moon and the white picket fence, only to get freezing feet when it comes to going from casual to committed. Here’s a letter that says it all:

“Dear Dr. D. I keep picking these guys who just don’t want to commit. I don’t know what it is. I just broke up with the third one! When we first met he said he was open to marriage and children and he seemed to be smitten by me. Things were amazing. But then he just got more and more distant. How can I stop myself from making this same mistake again???” ~Fed-up in Portland

Well “fed-up in Portland” I’m going to share a quiz that you can use to identify the non-committal man and avoid wasting your PRECIOUS TIME with him. Before we get to our non-committal man quiz, I’d like to ask you: Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to meet your soulmate online? If so, then take a moment and sign up for my free Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter. It’s chock-full of fresh ideas about relationships and special dating advice for women.

The Non-Committal Man Quiz: Believe it or not, there are very clear markers that show how a marriage-minded guy is different from a non-committal man. Rutgers University and The National Marriage Project did two research projects that can help you in your Soulmate search.

Here is a quiz loosely based on their results to help you tell whether a guy is probably never going to commit. Give your candidate one point for each “yes” in answering the questions below.

He did NOT grow up with both biological parents.
He attends religious services less than one time a month.
He would NOT agree to a statement like, “You’d be ready to marry tomorrow if the right person came along.”
He seems to distrust women to tell the truth about prior relationships
He seems to worry more about the risk of divorce
He says he does not want children
He believes that singles have better sex lives than married people
He would agree with the statement: “There are so many bad marriages today it makes one question the value of marriage.”
He says that at this stage of life he just wants to have fun
He has said things like, “If a guy gets married, his biggest problem will be losing his personal freedom.”
Scoring Key: If the number of “yes”s is under 4, he is probably not a non-committal man. He could be in the running to be your soulmate.

If his score is 6 or more “yes”s he may well have commitment problems.

If he has over 8 “yes”s, head for the hills!

Obviously, there are wonderful, available guys who don’t fit the complete profile of the “marrying kind.” But good parental role models and a spiritual or religious background help in molding guys who are more serious about commitment. If marriage is your goal, you may want to watch early on for info and clues about a guy’s upbringing; eagerness for marriage; spiritual or religious activities; general distrust of women; and his fears about losing personal freedom. Don’t waste your time on the Non-Committal Man; he will only break your heart.

How Taking A Relationship Quiz Leads You To Love

What A Good Quiz For A Relationship Can Reveal

Can a quiz for a relationship really tell you anything you don’t already know? The answer is often yes, but you have to make sure you’re taking a well designed quiz created by someone with some real credentials. Find one of those and there are some very interesting things you can learn about what’s in store for your relationship.

Overall compatibility:

Don’t feel like relying on your horoscope to guide you to your soul mate? A good quiz for a relationship may not be able to tell you where your soul mate is, but it can give you an idea whether or not the person you’re with now might be it. Quiz results can give you insight into important factors like compatibility, values, viewpoints, beliefs, habits, and long-term goals.

Healthy or not?

If you’ve ever been stuck in an unhealthy relationship that involved physical or psychological abuse, no doubt you never want to be in one again. The worst thing about these situations is that it’s often hard to see where things are headed; until its too late.

That’s where a quiz for a relationship comes in. By asking the right questions, a relationship quiz can help you pick up on early warning signs, that you and your partner may not only be incompatible, but may actually be in an unhealthy situation.

Eternal love or dead end?

No matter how crazy you are about each other right now, you can never be 100% sure it will last. You can, however, get some idea, whether you have a good chance or you’re doomed to break up, though. Questions about how you envision the future with your partner and what kinds of plans you’ve made together can give you a fair amount of insight into this.

What problems are in store?

Yep, every relationship has some problems. Having an idea about what yours might be, gives you a chance to head them off before they get too serious. A well designed quiz for a relationship uses questions that help you zero in on potential problems which could grow into something bigger and be a deal breaker.

The quiz does this by asking questions like how do you deal with your partner’s annoying habits, what causes of any moments of tension between you, and what emotions seem to characterize your relationship.

How others see you!

Even if there aren’t any problems between you, your relationship could still face pressure from outside forces. It might be due to difference in age, race, social status, or any number of things you overlook when you’re deeply inlove. Unfortunately, your family and close friends, may not overlook these things and constant criticism from them can put a strain on the relationship. You need to be aware of what social problems you might run into so you can discuss how you’re going to handle them.

A quiz for a relationship can tell you a lot about what you and your partner have to look forward to in the near future. Just remember, though, no two relationships are the same, so no matter how accurate the test, be ready for a few surprises all the same.

Are You A Girl That Believes In The Rules?

40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’s The Rules

Are The Rules Right For You?

By MADDISON JENSEN

This book — The Rules — was what the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You was based on. The term “You are not the exception” is referring to The Rules. Historical evidence and references are explained in depth in the pages of this dating bible. It’s an interesting read, even if you don’t agree completely.

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The Rules 40 Dating Tips:

1. Take care of yourself! Be feminine. Smell Good.

2. Make him approach you.

3. Be a Responder, not a Hunter. Hunters are men. You are not a man.

4. Never be offended. You love your flaws. You love yourself. Nothing you do is stupid. Smile and laugh.

5. Hunters don’t hunt animals that chase them or wait for them. They hunt unique animals that are hard to find, even if they have to travel to catch them.

6. Don’t call back immediately. You are a girl in demand.

7. Don’t call first. You might catch him when he’s busy and then you’ll feel bad and dumb.

8. End call first after 15 minutes ALWAYS. (Even though it sucks. He will call you more.)

9. End the date first.

10. Don’t reveal too much. Once books are open, they end up closed.

11. Be supportive and sympathetic

12. Don’t date people who are already dating people.

13. Be awesome. You’ve never been sad. You never want to be sad. Sad people are Sad. Happy people are contagious.

14. If his gifts aren’t romantic, his feelings aren’t romantic. You are not a tool set. You are a teddy bear and chocolates and everything sweet that he is feeling.

15. Refrain from seeing more than 2-3 times a week

16. Only casual kissing on the first date

17. Be busy until the moment he picks you up, that way you won’t over think things. Just be busy all the time. Busy people are important. You want to be important.

18. Even if you are not busy, pretend like you are. (This is not lying.)

19. Only tell your therapist or your dog everything about them. Don’t talk about them all the time. Words get around. You don’t want to sound crazy.

20. Seriously don’t have sex. When it comes to intimacy, stand your ground. They will respect you.

21. If bad things happen, stay emotionally cool. Don’t talk about the future. EVER. The future ball is in his court to bring up.

22. Don’t be bossy. Let him be a man. Bossy can come off as jealous or insecure.

23. Guys have balls. You don’t. Don’t let the ball be in your court. The ball should always be in his court. He knows what to do with his balls. Give him his balls.

24. Literally act like his life is totally fine and you don’t care to change it even if he’s wearing cargo shorts.

25. Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring.

26. Feelings are heavy and nobody wants those so shut up and suck it up.

27. You are the happiest, calmest person alive. Nothing can get in your way. Your life is so great that he wants to put himself in it, and he will.

28. Sometimes it is better to be lonely than rejected. Even then, you have netflix.

29. You are unlike anyone else. You don’t waste time. You don’t take shit from people. Shit is gross.

30. Past relationships are in your rearview mirror. Your future is through your windshield. Your windshield is bigger for a reason.

31. The person who talks the most has the most to lose.

32. Sympathy is stupid so stop trying to get it.

33. There is a reason why liars are lonely. Don’t be one in a relationship.

34. Busy is just “Busy”– don’t explain. Be happy and aloof when explaining that you are busy for the night.

35. Don’t leave things at his apartment. Make him make up excuses to see you. If he doesn’t… He doesn’t want to see you. If he doesn’t want to see you… you were too busy to notice or care (even if you do care).

36. His friends are the last people for you to seek advice from. Do not devalue your intuition and confidence by asking questions that make you look insecure NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.

37. Relationship ratio should always be him 70% and you 30-50%.

38. Eventually you will have to tell him everything about you, but don’t dump it on him like you’re nailing down his coffin. Let him understand that the weight of your past is something you carry lightly.

39. Keep yourself busy and happy. This isn’t just a tip to make people love you, this is a tip to keep you moving forward in life.

40. Stay fit, stay beautiful, and show him and yourself that you care about being healthy.

What Do You Mean He’s Not That In To You?

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . .

He never really was into you

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.)

He found someone he’s more into

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

He is tired of being dragged to church…

…and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

Your friends and family members frightened him

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

His friends finally talked him into leaving you

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can’t come out and play after dinner.

You nag… a lot

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it’s no longer a reminder, it’s nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

He’s a slob and you’re neat, or vice-versa

You don’t realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

You cost too much

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

You are not the same woman you were when he met you

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

You started rationing the cookie

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It’s not so bad. Don’t be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it — he’s just not that into you.

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?